Amazing Grace.

Father God, a note to my Dad, please.

Dear Dad,

Seriously, 4 years?

Today I will listen to certain songs. The Beatles will play more than usual on the radio, the children will listen to this, I will listen to this and we will all listen to this.

The grief feels more raw today. It rushes, gushes, heals.

That conversation we had in your last hour. Ha. Conversation… I was talking at you, my throat squeezed tight, words filling my voiceless pain accompanied by your rhythmic rattle.

I’ve been thinking about it lately. The childhood. The memories. The infidelity. The pain. The secrets. Yes they happened.

But didn’t it make the redemption of God all the more glorious?

God – He broke into that chaos, pouring rivers of living water, drowning dysfunction – and where it flowed, transformation happened.

Some places were harder to reach. Still are. I’m getting there, me and my river of tears. I wish you were still with us, I’d love to tell you about my new freedom.

But then… You have a freedom I can only imagine, and I’m thankful…for both.

Oh Dad! Those prayers you prayed in your little shed?

I know how you always believed, just look at this for a miracle!

IMG_0631

Did I just hear a smiling, husky voice from heaven say ‘I knew it, Amen.’

We remember, love and miss you Dad xo

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10 thoughts on “Amazing Grace.

  1. How beautiful and real are your words Shell….I’ll never forget that morning, that closeness as we all held each other as we said goodbye…how Gods presence was so tangible…..how special is the photo of you and your brothers….how dad would be so proud of you all…..as I am too xxxxxx

  2. Michelle,
    Obviously, a heartfelt love is poring out of you today, so sorry for your loss, but what a glorious truth revealed as well. May your heart swell with love as God himself comforts you today.
    Sue

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