We’re told it’s the most depressing day of the year otherwise known as Blue Monday…
The darkest day. Gloomy grey.
Malaise motivation. Happy hibernation.
Christmas is over. The goals are waning.
You’re tired. Your credit card bills are in.
Days are short. Nights are long.
For many this is winter blues, let us use the word blues rather than the word depression. “True clinical depression (as opposed to a post-Christmas slump) is a far more complex condition that is affected by many factors, chronic and temporary, internal and external,” wrote Dean Burnett, Psychiatry Lecturer in an editorial for the Guardian.
Here is the British mental-health facility’s tongue-in-cheek formula: (W+D-d)xTQ÷MNa W = weather conditions. D = debt. d = ability to pay off debt. T = time passed since Christmas. Q = time passed since breaking New Year’s resolution. M = motivation levels Na = need to take action.
For us it’s living simply, keeping out the Christmas board games, finding colour in your day, embracing the season – skating, skiing, sledding, being creative, giving to others and of course – exercise…
With all that said, here’s a few funnies (you’ve read before I know) to brighten up your day!
Church bulletin mistakes…
*Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.
*Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
*For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
*The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
*This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
*Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
*Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put me in my little bed accompanied by the pastor.”
*Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be “Little Mothers” will meet with the Pastor in his study.
*This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
*The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
*Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
*The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
*At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
*The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
*Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
*The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
*The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
*Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
*Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
*Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
*The Lutheran Men’s group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
*The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”
*Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High.”
*Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
*The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
*The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
*During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
*Due to the Rector’s illness, Wednesday’s healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
*The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister’s daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
*22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
*Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
*Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
*Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
*Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
*Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.
*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
*Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
*The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
*Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
*Miss Charlene Mason sang “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
*The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
*This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Happy Monday friends.
‘May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope’
‘….Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don’t have anything: This day is holy to God. Don’t feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!’
Love Michelle xo