The Lord surrounds his People

‘Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore.’ This verse stood out to me from the fourth session of Phil’s anxiety talks on the Fill In, was verse one of Psalm 125. Link to the course here.

The Psalm desclares, ‘those who trust in the Lord are as unshakeable, as immovable as mighty Mount Zion! Just as the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord’s wrap-around presence surrounds his people, protecting them now and forever.’ 

Psalm 125 is part of the collection of Psalms known as ‘a song of ascents.’ Songs sung by pilgrims as they made their way to Jerusalem during festival times. Imagine yourself as the pilgrim heading up to Jerusalem, Mount Zion ahead, the place where the temple stands. Your mind wanders to the many victories that have taken place there. Mount Zion, while the centre, it wasn’t the highest. I love this, that as the pilgrim saw the immovable, solid Zion, he also saw the surrounding mountains as God’s presence – His wrap-around presence. 

Imagine our world of thoughts as a weather system surrounding Mount Zion, dark clouds, swirling, foreboding, storming – your anxious thoughts and struggles written in the dark. 

Back to this verse, you are like the mountain. You are not the weather. Be still, and take your place on Mount Zion and see beyond the storm to the higher mountains surrounding you. You can be secure in your soul with this promise.   

I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Psalm 16:8 

There’s a great story in the bible about the prophet Elisha who woke one morning and found that the enemy surrounded the city. Elisha told the servant, ‘don’t be afraid, those who are with us are more than those who are with them.’  I’m sure the servant was a little confused at Elisha’s counting. The whole army versus two does not equal victory. 

THEN. 

“Elisha prayed, ‘O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.’ Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” (2 Kings 6:17) The all-around in this verse is the same meaning as surrounds in Psalm 125:2. And in Psalm 34:7: “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.” (Psalm 34:7)

I love the practice of Lectio Divina, or Holy Reading – feasting on the word. 

Let’s feast on this verse in Psalm 125 word today,  

‘Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore.’

  • Read the verse out loud, listen to the verse, hear God is speaking to you. 
  • Pick a word or phrase from the verse that stands out to you and meditate on it. For me, it was trust (again…) 
  • Pray about what you’ve just read, ‘why am I focusing on trust Lord, what do you want to show me?’ In my current world, where clouds threaten to shift the weather pattern away from the promise of peace. His word asks me to trust him. He has me surrounded. 
  • Ask the Lord how He wants you to respond to this verse, how will I change, how will the word transform me? How will I live differently? 

From this final response, it is useful to respond with a written prayer or write out some steps to transformation. Or, simply rest, sit still and repeat the word or phrase, for example, ‘’you surround me, Lord,’ 

Love, Michelle 

Scott 

It seems to me that prayer and scripture are essential for keeping your mind on truth, and I would frequently cry out in prayer and turn to the bible for answers in my darkest moments. But if I’m honest, it wasn’t easy. I was so sick with anxiety that opening my bible felt somewhat like walking into a hospital. I knew that I needed to be there and that there was healing to be found, but it was almost easier not to touch the wounds. My anxiety would increase just because I was addressing my anxiety. And prayer, well God definitely didn’t answer my prayers in the timing I asked Him to. I think the best thing that I did regarding prayer was to ask others to be in prayer for me. Now that my anxiety is more under control, it is my goal to be in daily devotions and to keep giving everything over to God through prayer. It’s better for my life, and it’s better for my mind.

Tamara 

Scripture tells us we can have God’s peace guard our hearts and minds. I’ve dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember, so this idea of peace always seemed elusive to me.

I would read Scriptures like Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you,” and I would get frustrated that I didn’t have this perfect peace.

It was when I realized that those wasn’t a passive thing, but something I had to choose, that I started to understand how to have peace guard my mind instead of anxiety. It’s about choosing to trust and keep our minds on God. In 1 Peter 5:7, we’re told to “Cast all our anxiety on Him because He cares for [us].” That says we have to do something.

When anxiety comes, I have to choose to give it to God, and then I need to declare my trust in Him. I declare the truth of what scripture says about God and who He says I am. Often I do this out loud, so I can hear it.

To do this in the moment when anxiety comes, I have to be daily in scripture, filling my mind with the truth. That is when I’m able to declare it when anxiety comes.

From a practical perspective, I’ve actually created a list in my phone of Scripture I can read when anxiety comes. It helps me to more quickly turn my mind back to God.

Mediate and Memorise

‘When I said, ‘My foot is slipping, your love, O LORD, supported me. When my anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.’ Psalm 94:18-19

Listen: House on a Hill, Amanda Cook 

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened…


‘I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.’ Mark Twain

Session three on our Navigating Worry online course, explores hypothetical worry, i.e., worrying about future events, imagined scenarios that cannot be solved or action taken and the likelihood that the script will never take place. 

I’ve been thinking about the thoughts we often have when everything is going well. Have you ever had that? Work is good, the family is #blessed. Brene Brown describes at that point that joy itself can become foreboding. ‘That impending feeling that it’s going to be taken away and that in moments of joyfulness, we try to beat vulnerability to the punch. It can often happen when you have experienced disappointment. The habit of waiting for the next bad thing, or, on the other hand, I speak to some who feel so blessed, and things are going so well, their mind hovers around ‘things are so good something will go wrong soon enough.’

Brene shares a poignant story in her book, Daring Greatly, about a man she interviewed who admitted to her that he never allowed himself to be too joyful about anything in life. An elderly man who lived a life ready to be disappointed. He made an effort to never get too excited or too joyful so that he would be prepared if things didn’t work out and pleasantly surprised if things did.

Then one tragic day, he lost his wife of 40 years to a car accident. ‘The second I realized that she was gone, the first thing I thought was ‘I should have leaned harder into those moments of joy. Because [foreboding joy] did not protect me from what I feel right now.’

Proverbs 15:15 in the Amplified Bible says this, ‘all the days of the desponding and afflicted are made evil [by anxious thoughts and forebodings], but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast [regardless of circumstances].’

What is a foreboding? The dictionary definition describes, ‘a feeling that evil is impending or that something bad is going to happen.’

Worry can feel omnipresent, constant, an irritation, a dripping tap of what if’s and dread – of waiting… a familiar subtle presence hovering over and gnawing at your everyday existence, Song of Solomon 2:15, ‘catch the little foxes that are ruining your vineyard.’ Catch them. To do so, we must first recognize them and name them.

The verse goes on to say, ‘he who has a glad hard has a continual feast (regardless of circumstances) Scripture is full of promises such as this, or Psalm 27:13, where David writes, ‘what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living!’

You know by now that I’ve known and still know the reality of struggle and darkness in my family, and I know this is often not a quick fix. But I do know the freedom of God’s promises.

Let us recognize the source of forebodings and not let them overpower us. 

Yes – there are often many reasons for our soul be too downcast – let us learn to live with a glad heart, allowing our soul to prosper, taking thoughts captive – continually feasting. If the ‘forebodings’ are something you experience,  ask someone to pray with you, to speak life over you and remind yourself of God’s word for your life. 

Have you been able to recognize the forebodings that gnaw at you, the little foxes destroying? Do you need to be reminded of God’s promise again today?

Let us know if you’re finding these teaching sessions and devotionals helpful! 

Love, Michelle 

Today, we begin our ‘real-life story’ section, where, after each devotional, you will find a story from someone I know who has experienced worry/anxiety/stress and what they have done/are doing to find their way through. 

Rose

Anxiety often comes in the form of an attack. A mental one, sometimes a physical one, and I feel it is certainly always a spiritual one. For me it can range from charging my phone constantly, so I have enough battery to call someone in an ‘inevitable’ and irrational emergency, or being too afraid to leave the house/go to new places in case something bad happens, to a throat closing, heart-pounding panic attack while in the car – all of which can make day-to-day living difficult. So to me, anxiety is very much a feeling of impending doom. It’s the enemy finding a way in and spreading like a slow-acting poison, consuming you with worry and dread, which is why it’s so important to find your antidote. Because of this, for me, prayer is the number one remedy as oftentimes living with anxiety can make you feel isolated and weakened to a point where you don’t feel able to talk to anyone about it – sometimes your only option is to call out to God and give it to Him when you can no longer deal with the all too familiar weight of these worries. It can also be so easy to let yourself become buried in your mind, letting fear dictate you and making you forget to live, so what is helpful to me in these moments is having people around me that I trust who push me out of my comfort zone – not too far, but far enough so that I don’t let the stress of these feelings win. What further helps me when I feel anxiety building is trying to reassure myself that I’m safe, telling myself that these overwhelming emotions are probably temporary, that the rustling I heard outside at night isn’t sinister but an animal or something of nature, that statistically, what are the chances of something bad happening to me out of everyone else in the world? I will also tend to put on a familiar nostalgic movie or tv show that I know brings me comfort. Hopefully, with such coping mechanisms and with time the voice of anxiety may become quieter, and though the fear may never fully leave, you can move forward with the knowledge that you have the strength, courage, hope, and faith that things will get easier and that with God you are never alone.

Meditate and Memorise

‘You cannot lose your standing with God. You are an adopted son or daughter of the King’ Galatians 4:5–6

Listen: Still. 

Journaling: How to and why

Psalm 61:3 You’ve always given me breathing room, a place to get away from it all. 

I hope you found my introductory post helpful. I am writing these posts alongside Phil’s course on the Fill In, found here. While I am not a counselor or mental health specialist, I write from personal experience and pastoral ministry. 

As Phil refers to journaling during his sessions; I thought I would offer my experience of this invaluable practice while adding some interesting research. 

For centuries people have written their feelings, joys, and laments. The scriptures are full of words of wisdom and poetry – writers finding access to God’s presence along the vulnerable path of words. 

There are many ways to approach journaling. Thankfully, journaling is not prescriptive, and once you find an approach that works for you, I’m sure you’ll experience many benefits. 

You might choose bullet journaling. The main idea behind bullet journaling is quick notes rather than full paragraphs. This creative system is often referred to as ‘a diary, schedule, and goal setter’ all in one and suits people who love lists, goal setting, tracking, and being organized. This system also uses an effective symbol system. There is a lot written about the to-dos of bullet journaling – just a quick search will get you on your way. This smart method could be specifically helpful for tracking your mental health and mood over a month when visiting your doctor or therapist. 

Others might choose a gratitude journal. Counting our blessings is a wonderful way to focus our attention on the positives in our lives. Many reports acknowledge that a gratitude journal helps both physical and mental health. A template such as ‘I am grateful for this _________ because_________,’ helps takes our gratitude deeper. Let’s start today – what three things are you thankful for? Why? Now, write it down and allow it to become a habit. 

A prayer journal is a helpful journal to record prayers for yourself and others, add to this scriptures, and promises over situations. These journals are a great encouragement to look back on and remind yourself of the faithfulness of God.  

I have journaled for most of my life, and I have stacks of journals overflowing with emotion, prayers, milestones, loss, and adventure. 

Some specific helpful journaling practice I have adopted and adapted over time have been using particular Q&A. For example, what’s the best thing that happened today? What made me anxious? What am I grateful for? Prayer needs? 

I have often used my journal to clarify and unclutter thoughts and feelings, talking through the page, pen in hand is a cathartic experience. Extracting negativity, exploring offence (second hand in particular – pastor’s wife anyone?!) Adjusting my sight and shifting my focus.

As we are exploring stress and anxiety, in particular, I have often focused specifically on anxious thoughts. Acknowledging my fears, forebodings, or traumatic events – it’s here a specific root of thought patterns can be highlighted. These helpful reactions appear as both sides of our brain are at work. 

Dr. Caroline Leaf, in her book’ Switch on Your Brain,’ refers specifically to detoxing specific thought patterns. She takes you through a sequence of days, progressing to 21 days on dealing with a particular negative thought. Sounds long winded but she acknowledges it takes this long to break a habit and rewire thinking. Again, this involves journaling daily replacing a specific thought with scripture or a positive thought.  

I’ve tried this process, and it works!! 

My mom finds Scripture journaling to be invaluable. Begin to write out specific verses, gathering more and more truths over time. When you struggle to pray or find words, these truths will remind you that you promised God’s love and presence during life’s mountains, valleys, and everything in between. In the middle of anxiety, God’s word is a beautiful way to connect with truth and his presence. I will often use these written scriptures to combat stress. Reading out loud, reminding God, writing, memorising. 

Some snippets from scriptures I have written… 

I love to read Psalm 23 out loud. ‘God, You are my shepherd, I lack nothing. You make me lie down in green pastures. You lead me beside the still waters. You restore my soul. You lead me in paths of righteousness for Your name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me! Your rod and your staff, they comfort me! You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in Your house forever.’

Or this word of vulnerability from the Message, Psalm 34, ‘I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. I live and breathe God; if things aren’t going well, hear this and be happy: Join me in spreading the news; together let’s get the word out. God met me more than halfway. He freed me from my anxious fears. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.’ 

And finally, the reassurance of Psalm 139 from the Passion Translation. You know those dark times, when it’s hard to see for the dark is impenetrable, whether through thoughts, irrational fears, or physical responses. This is how God sees you…,

‘The night, to you, is as bright as the day; there’s no difference between the two. You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother’s womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord! You even formed every bone in my body when you created me in the secret place, carefully, skillfully shaping me from nothing to something. You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book.’

And if that isn’t enough, research (sites below) shows that journaling can offer the following:

Decreased the symptoms of asthma, arthritis, and other health conditions.

Improves cognitive functioning.

Strengthens the immune system, preventing a host of illnesses.

It counteracts many of the negative effects of stress. 

Do you journal? Have you found it gives you breathing room? Any tips for us here? 

Love, Michelle 

If you’d like to read more about the overall physical and mental effects of journaling, I found these articles to be helpful. 

https://www.mic.com/articles/110662/science-shows-something-surprising-about-people-who-still-journal#.n0QO5ApTN

https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/topics/live-well/2018/07/5-powerful-health-benefits-of-journaling/

Mediate and Memorise

‘When I said, ‘My foot is slipping, your love, O LORD, supported me. When my anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.’ Psalm 94:18-19

Listen: Oh God, Citizens 

The Most Highlighted verse in the Bible

This devotional is the first of eleven short pieces that can be read alongside Phil’s new online course that teaches about Anxiety and Stress. You can find the course on the Fill In website by clicking here

This introductory piece will offer a few additional insights and some encouragement as you engage in the course. As you know, anxiety, fear, and worry are familiar words to us, and many of us experience them at different times.  Anxiety is no respecter of demographics or status and shows up in various ways such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, phobias, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. It is not our aim to offer a quick fix to rid your anxiety, or give you all of the answers but rather acknowledge the reality of this epidemic and offer some thoughts, helps and God-given solutions. 

For some, this will be a lifeline to find a way to live with anxiety in Christ, others might find the answers and lights on moments to find new freedom. We have known and experienced both, and our prayer as you listen and read is that you will know a new reality and profound truth of the God who encourages you to cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 

We are not alone in our search for answers. Data from Amazon found here describes the most popular, beautiful, and poetic passages that readers had underlined in many online books.

Here is the most highlighted verse from the NIV version of the Bible. ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus“ Philippians 4:6-7. The verses before and after encouraging readers to ‘rejoice in the Lord’ and focus on where our thoughts are landing by thinking on ‘whatever is true, whatever is admirable.’ We are encouraged to not be anxious about anything… ANYTHING. Easy for you to say, Paul. But maybe not as I’m reminded that he wrote this from prison. He had clearly found a way to find peace in this cold, anxious place, encouraging us to find peace ‘by prayer and petition.’ 

Other translations put it this way…

The Message (MSG) ‘Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.’

It is so easy to allow newsfeeds, news flashes, and our hypothetical headlines to cloud our knowledge of what we know is true in God. I like how the Passion Translation translates the same verse, ‘don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about something. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ.’ 

Saturation becomes the answer to paralyzation

When I spin on the hamster wheel of anxiety, and as the swirling clouds wrap me up, and I become excessive in my overthinking, I find that grace has a harder time breaking through. For this introductory post, I thought I’d introduce a few wins for my own journey – I hope they help. Further posts will include testimonies of friends and my community who have found their way with anxiety. 

My practice… 

Acknowledge anxiety: 

What causes your anxiety? What causes you to lose sight of God’s love, sovereignty, and care? Journal your answers. 

Remember: 

One of the things I love to do when I get stuck in the ‘traffic jam’ unable to move, I remember. I remember that God has proven Himself faithful, over and over again. He has shown me His mercy and His promised presence daily. 

…and finally, another piece the most underlined, this time from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:

Wrong will be right,

When Aslan comes in sight,

At the sound of his roar,

sorrows will be no more,

When he bares his teeth,

winter meets its death,

And when he shakes his mane,

we shall have spring again.

Meditate and Memorise 

Throw all your anxiety on [God], because he cares for you,” 1 Peter 5:7

“Do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:25–26

Listen: I’ll Give Thanks, Housefires 

Part two in a few days, don’t forget to sign up and forward to those it might help,

Love, Michelle x

Drinking tea in the Presence of God

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This week I sat on my deck, it was 6am, the birds were reminding me of the new day, while my sleeping ones stirred. The sun bounced through the leaves of the lilac tree. I watched the steam swirling from my hot tea and pondered the Holy Place. The place where God dwells and I rejoiced at the knowledge that because of Christ, I can enter into his presence. That no magic tricks are needed, that God has made His home in us. 

And without a doubt, I was there. Loved, heard, reassured. 

No longer are we separated by a veil before the holiest place. No longer is there a barrier to God. When Jesus died, the veil was torn in two. The 60 foot long, 30 feet wide, 4-inch thick veil – a veil that took hundreds of priests to manipulate. 

It was only the one true God who could tear it in two on that day, as He moved from the temple of hands to the temples of heart. 

Naturally, my early morning musings began to swirl into a post to share because I want everyone to know ALL are invited to His presence. I shared my first thoughts on my insta story and, my friend connected with it. Nic, having just returned from Israel, had also had her own moment of pondering access to his presence and she shared her words with me, which meant I didn’t have to write any because she wrote it so well… 

‘We stand behind the wall. 

We’re safe there behind the wall. 

We’ll shuffle up close,

touch it,

lean against it,

hope our prayers will be heard through it. 

But we won’t go past it. 

We’re safe behind the boundary of the wall. 

Fear. 

Fear keeps us, holds us. 

Fear whispers in its lies of deceit that it protects us. 

If we move past the wall, we will tread into the uncomfortable. 

What will be asked of us?

Who might reject us?

What old coat will we be required to shed?

What new clothes will we be asked to wear? 

What if everything we have always known we are asked to leave behind?

What if we enter beyond and into and we die? 

What waits for us behind the wall?

A place where once a curtain hung. 

A curtain that separated heaven and earth, God, and man. 

A curtain that veiled the holy of holies. 

But then in that prophecy fulfilled day, in the heavy blackened darkness, during three holy ordained hours raged the war of all wars battled,

as the King of all kings won the victory of all victories,

that curtain from top to bottom was torn in two. 

Hear the war cry, “It is finished!”

Hear the war cries of, 

Death defeated.

Life redeemed. 

Fear overcome. 

And freedom sings it’s song!

Hear the gentle voice,

“Come, child, fear no more. I destroyed the boundary to the Holy. I flew wide open the gate! 

So why do you stand behind your own made wall? 

Come, my child, walk with me in the garden. I have waited so long. 

Let me take your fear so you can know my love. 

Let me have your faith so I can give you goodness and life. 

Walk with me in the garden, feel the breeze. 

Walk with me in my garden. For no more is there a boundary. 

Look, I stand behind your wall, let me tear down your wall? 

Accept my breath of grace! 

My beloved, come, my darling; 

there are no more walls. 

The winter has passed, and the rains have gone. 

The season of singing has come. 

Arise, come, my beautiful one, come with Me.’ 

by Nicole Richardson, check out more of her words here

I pray you to know the freedom of this truth.  

Love, Michelle xo 

*A few people have asked what the Collins Clan are up to nowadays, so look out for the Collins family news this week! 

I wake in the morning and hope it’s Wednesday or Sunday

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I write this from the beautiful Normandy countryside. We are nearly at the end of our second Pursuit School trip to France, working alongside our friends Gerard and Chrissie and the ministry of Bless. We’re visiting with a new group of students who have just finished their Pursuit School year. Our days are filled with time in the Bethanie prayer room, working on Bethanie land, celebrating d’day on Pegasus Bridge and worshipping in a tiny chapel on the Compostela pilgrimage on the grounds of our friends’ campsite.

Our main focus has been the work of Bethanie and SOS Chai who have been working in the Presqu’ile in Caen for 2 years. Twice a week they serve hot meals and drinks, clothes and toiletries to a group of migrant boys while playing games and forming friendships – and we were able to join in! Many new boys have joined the Presqu’ile from Sudan, Senegal, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Somalia….We converse through our limited French, their limited English, but understand the universal language of smiles and soccer.

We heard these words yesterday,

‘I wake in the morning and hope it’s Wednesday or Sunday’

‘It’s good to serve people, and it’s even better to sit with people’

‘We are a family now.’

And as we enjoyed our family time, we watched this familiar story unfold.

The story of a menacing sky. Overshadowed by a rainbow. Laden with promise.

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Over the warehouses. Over the white vans, housing trafficked daughters – candles burning. Over purpose-filled lives created in the image of God. Our new brothers, with their wide smiles and long eyelashes. Their laughter. Their new love for spike ball.  The ones who have walked across the land, the desert and the Alps.

We are blessed.

SOS Chai needs our help to keep going – you can find more information here  

Thank you!

Love, Michelle xo

‘For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink…whatever you did for the least of these you did for me.’

 

Thank you for your Grace

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Last week

At Willow Park, we have been through a long process of deciding whether or not women will be allowed on our Elders board. This discussion has included much prayer, unbiased and well-researched teaching videos presented by Phil, Q and A church meetings, many conversations…all culminating in the church membership making the decision by voting on Sunday.

Complementarian or Egalitarian?

Words that many had not heard or wrestled with until recently.

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I had a dream on Saturday night

I was on a hike walking alongside a cliff, on a relatively narrow, rugged pathway. There were lots of us, all heading in the same direction. I was struggling because I dragging a huge suitcase, challenging to navigate and very heavy.

We all reached a point on the walk where we had to step onto a large wooden platform area before climbing over to the next point of the journey. The wooded area was continually moving and difficult to pass, you had to concentrate on being able to get onto the moving platform and then climb over.

Thankfully, Brad (chair of our board) and Phil (pastor) stood at the top of the platform, they were helping everyone up and over. I was struggling, this was impossible with heavy luggage, so I hoisted the case up to Brad and Phil.

As I climbed on, I saw them put my suitcase to one side. It was empty.

Brad looked at me and said, ‘you don’t need that anymore, you can continue without it.’

Yesterday

I woke Sunday morning reassured and encouraged. That whatever the outcome and decision made on the members vote. That the women in our church would be traveling lighter because of it. I was reassured this journey has been a God-given process for this time, for our church, and I knew that God had us here for a purpose to bring us closer to His heart.

A decision was made that all members, male and female, can be nominated to become elders of Willow Park Church.  

Today

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We took a day off and walked Enderby Cliffs. 14 km of cliff edge walking while praying for our church. We thanked God that we have been able to offer answers to occasional questions of fallout and possible division. We have responded that we believe our church is healthy, that the heart of people is unity, and we will continue to walk well together with our different opinions and thoughts.

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Because the main thing is the main thing: Jesus. Salvation. His presence. Transformation.

The climb up the cliff was hard today. But alongside the increased heart rate and occasional trip-ups – we stopped and took in the views, the wildflowers, the beauty.

And enjoyed the reward of a spacious place.

Then I found the platform that I’d seen in my dream, but this time it wasn’t unstable or moving, but steady.

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We journey on – focused, lighter, anticipating all that God has for us.

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Thank you for your grace, Willow Park Church – well done.

Love, Michelle xo

Ps. All pics from our hike today 🙂

 

Please don’t hug me (your way)

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Dear Church,

I will start by saying. ‘His grace is enough.’

I enjoyed your Sunday morning service this week, thank you so much for your warm welcome.

You need to know it’s a big deal for anyone walking into a church for the first time – and for some more than others. I just wanted to point out a few things that might help you in understanding some of us who walk through your big glass doors.

Firstly, I realize why hugging is really important. You’re excitedly declaring, ‘welcome, come and be part of our church family.’

But you need to know…some of us can’t hug. Your way.

Touch repulses me and if you try and hug me my skin crawls. I actually want to vomit, often do, and my whole state becomes unbalanced. You might want to Google sensory processing disorder to understand more.

So maybe try not to presume everyone you meet is a hugger. When you get to know me, I’ll show you my sign for hugging, and we can do that as I walk into the foyer rather than…well…what happened.

I also really understand that eye contact is important; you show you are listening – you are giving your attention to me and no one else. The problem is, I can’t give you eye contact because my eyes sting and it feels like tiny hot needles are poking me. But please don’t think I’m rude. I’m happy that you talking to me, I just don’t like you looking into my eyes.

Finally, I know I got up and down a lot in the service. It’s not that I don’t like being there or I’m struggling with the message, or I’m that I’m demonised! Restlessness is a side effect of the medication I’m taking, so, I get up and wander around until my legs settle. Easy? Sort of, depending on the volume of the music is and how bright the lights are.

It can be tiring being me sometimes.

Thanks for reading  – I will come back next week. I know it’s about us understanding each other and I know you also have a lot of stuff going on that no one knows about. I can see that in you, it’s just that my stuff is more obvious…

I’ll close with my life verse from Psalm 139 that I like to encourage people with.

I will offer You my grateful heart,

for I am Your unique creation,

filled with wonder and awe.

You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;

Your works are wonderful;

I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

I believe this. Do you?

Regards,

Hannah.

P.S. I also have Aspergers.  I forget to mention it sometimes…

(This is revamp/repost, for the five minute Friday prompt, ‘touch’ A letter worth reading again…)

 

You are invited into the story of the resurrected life!

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‘‘The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid. I know you are looking for Jesus Who was nailed to the cross. He is not here! He has risen from the dead as He said He would. Come and see the place where the Lord lay. Run fast and tell His followers that He is risen from the dead. He is going before you to the country of Galilee. You will see Him there as I have told you.” They went away from the grave in a hurry. They were afraid and yet had much joy. They ran to tell the news to His followers. As they went to tell the followers, Jesus met them and said hello to them. They came and held His feet and worshiped Him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My followers to go to Galilee. They will see Me there.” Matthew 28:5

I love this piece, ‘the Disciples,’ by Eugène Burnand. 

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‘Peter and the other disciple left immediately for the tomb. They ran, neck and neck.’

You can just imagine their feet were moving before Mary had finished talking, with the golden dawn lighting the sky, Peter and John, run, at this point, they are side by side and heading in one direction. Apprehension, amazement and resolve on their faces, hand over heart and clasped in prayer. Mike Frost wrote, ‘surely this is also the posture with which we should approach Easter. Leaning in, wringing our hands, clutching our chests, desperate for it to be true.’

Also described as the visual equivalent of Lectio Divina. “This Resurrection scene does not put us before still figures near a stagnant stone, or figures standing with stony faces in a contrived, plastic posture, pointing to an empty tomb. This scene is dynamic; we are in motion.”

‘The other disciple got to the tomb first, outrunning Peter. Stooping to look in, he saw the pieces of linen cloth lying there, but he didn’t go in. Simon Peter arrived after him, entered the tomb, observed the linen cloths lying there, and the kerchief used to cover his head not lying with the linen cloths but separate, neatly folded by itself. Then the other disciple, the one who had gotten there first, went into the tomb, took one look at the evidence, and believed.’ John 20:4

Meditate upon their faces as Burnand intended you to do and through them discover the empty tomb.

On this day of celebration, you are invited into the story of the resurrected life.

But Michelle, it’s okay for you to talk of this resurrected life, but, is this story the answer to my wandering, my suffocating, my despair, my insignificance. My pain.

Yes! Invite Him in. I did.

Invite Jesus into your tomb and allow him to lead you out. HIs promise is life over your disappointments, your situations, your dreams, your promises.

His promise is resurrection over dormant destiny.

Then, if and when the betrayal of Maundy Thursday, the darkness of Good Friday, the confusion, questions, and doubt of Silent Saturday takes place. You can confidently face them from the place of resurrection – in the power, promise and the presence of Jesus.

He wants you to know how much you loved and created with purpose and a unique song in your soul for this world.

Happy Easter!

Love, Michelle xo

We are thankful today God. For the promise of the resurrection in every area of our lives. What a God we have and how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all life healed and whole. Amen

 

The Strangest Story of All

Black by day, Red by night

C.S Lewis calls it The Strangest Story of all
The Easter Story 

It’s all about stories.
Those ordinary ones who put Him on the cross that day, the same men who went home to their wives preparing dinner, to their playful kids. Pilate, Caiaphas, Soldiers – those who were doing their job.
A nameless carpenter who crafted the cross, doing his job.
These ordinaries remind me of the destructive darkness that lies deep – that we are all capable of. I am reminded that the cross dealt with that darkness and if I don’t deal with it then it deals with me.
Good Friday reminds us of that.
It’s all about stories.
His story
The blunt nails forced, His pierced side, impaled, broken, immersed in giving His life for you. Yet, while doing so, looking down and ensuring that his own mother was cared for. Yes, death on the cross for all of mankind, while caring for the details of his family.
Your story
Stare into the story of love, into the ending that will begin, into death that will bring life. And hear the truth declared over you, It is Finished.
What will you do with your story? Do you live it for yourself? Or do you occasionally allow God an appearance? Or do you take your story and fully immerse into God’s story?
This past week, I have been reminded of the fragility, beauty, and brutality of our broken world. Church leadership is not for faint-hearted, thankfully God calls us to be soft-hearted when situations scream otherwise. I have also heard some amazing stories of answered prayers. The deliverance of God declaring ENOUGH over what we perceived impossible and offering transformation and deliverance far beyond our best prayers.
Richard Rohr writes ‘most of human life is Holy Saturday, a few days of life are Good Friday, but there only needs to be one single Easter Sunday for us to know the final and eternal pattern. We now live inside of such cosmic hope. Jesus trusted enough to outstare the darkness, to outstare the void, to hold out for the resurrection of the forever-awaited third day, and not to try to manufacture His own. That is how God stretches and expands the soul, and makes it big enough to include God.’
I sit quietly on this Good Friday, eternally grateful, praying through the night allowing myself not speed by these final days of our Lent journey.
I’ll be back Sunday,
As my friend Gerard wrote today, let’s call it, GodisGood Friday,
Love, Michelle xo

This one dedicated to you Jake – my encourager.