‘The critics have made them impotent,’ writes Hemingway, but the only way they will make you weak and effective is if you listen to them. Which anxious thought is your biggest critic?
Tom Corby, a psychotherapist, writes, ‘accepting anxiety doesn’t mean ‘resign[ing] ourselves to a life of anxious misery. It simply means that we are better off recognizing and fully accepting the existence of anxiety and other uncomfortable emotional states that are inevitable, but transitory.’
~transitory: not permanent~
~allow waves in – experience it – ride out ~
One of Caroline Leaf’s suggestions to cope with anxiety is to visualise and imagine yourself in the future. The process of imagination actually creates actual physical networks in the brain. She writes, ‘when done in an “optimism mode,” we develop what I call a possibilities mindset: instead of seeing a series of failures, we see a series of learning opportunities and open doors. Imagine yourself in the moment, when you have accomplished x or overcame a hurdle. How do you feel? What are you doing? How are you celebrating your victory?
As we imagine our future, we actually change the present—our brain responds positively to our hopes and dreams! However, it is important to remember this works both ways—imagining a positive future can have positive results in the present, while fearing the future can potentially make what we fear a reality because our expectations change the structure of our brains, impacting what we think, say and do in the future.’
So good! Caroline Leaf’s books and blogs are invaluable, you can find her work here.
As you imagine your future self, I would encourage you as Phil did, to begin to take those steps. Set yourself realistic, daily goals.
Examples of small steps we have taken with friends…
- You are panicking – your first step is to focus on your breathing. ‘Deep diaphragmatic breathing triggers our relaxation response, switching from our fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system, to the relaxed, balanced response of our parasympathetic nervous system.’
- You are a carer – worried and wondering how you can even care for yourself. You have even said, ‘I’m losing myself, my mind.’ It is time to find some space for your own wellbeing. Your first step is to find out a realistic respite that you can access. Starting with just one hour to catch your breath.
- You are a new parent. Your sweet tea is cold, and you can’t think straight. You don’t feel like you used to. This is all normal. Nap when the baby does. Hydrate. If you can, join a local parent and baby group. I’m sure you’ll find many parents thinking and feeling the same way.
- You are struggling to sleep. It is highly recommended that you cut out screens an hour before sleep. Adopt suggested journaling techniques. Reduce alcohol and coffee.
- You are isolated. Open your curtains, your window, leave your room. Play music. Breathe in the fresh air.
- You are facing the dragon of drugs. You dare to dream of being clean and living a different life. There are groups in your community or can help and often churches who offer you kind, praying people. One person is all you need today. That one person will know other clean, kind, praying people who will love you. This is not an experiment, this draws you to destiny and brings you into a new community.
- You have never dared tell anyone how you are feeling. I promise there is an indescribable weight that lifts in telling even one trusted person.
….as you take those small steps, the weight in your body and mind will lighten. Enabling you to take more steps, minimize anxiety and begin to cope in a new way.
I hope you’re finding Phil’s talks helpful, if you haven’t yet, you can sign up here, or forward to a friend who might find them useful!
Love, Michelle
Darlene’s Story
Through my interactions with friends, I know this is a concern for so many. My anxiety was at an all-time high about 3 years ago. I am very intentional with my self-care now. I am convinced that as a woman, hormones had a huge part in skyrocketing my anxiety. I could not be driving in my car in a lane that I could not get out of without often going into a panic attack (control issues, yes). One thing I did that helped hugely was educate myself on the effects of toxic chemicals through products we use and how that disrupts our own natural balance. I went toxic-free with my product usage as well as added very high doses of essential oils. Something else I know to be true for myself is that I cannot watch TV that much. My mind spins out of control when I get too involved in the news or reality shows. So I intentionally saturate myself with viewing things like Joyce Meyer, Bobby Schuller, etc. Sleep and exercise are a must for our minds to stay clear. The enemy gets a huge foothold when we don’t take control of our own minds. One more thing that has been a very large part of my learning how to manage anxiety is developing my personal growth. I have done this by reading books and studying who I am in Jesus. John C Maxwell has had a huge influence on my personal growth as well. Anxiety is not something that one day you wake up, and it’s gone. I believe ongoing decisions need to be made every day that will strengthen my mental health. I also know that Jesus is the author of goodness. The more I seek and search Him out, the healthier my mind, spirit, emotions, and body will be.
Meditate and Memorise
‘God is weaving all things together for your greatest good, and equipping you with all that you need to accomplish his will.’ Romans 8:28
Listen: Through and Through, Will Reagan
michelle's musings 