She ignored me in the church foyer…


Hi friends!

How’s your summer?

We’ve enjoyed summer weeks of lovely family and friends staying with us from far-flung places such as UK, Cyprus, Seattle and Vancouver…the pic above was taken during a short break we enjoyed at Harrison Hot Springs.

I promised a few ‘wow’ thoughts – here’s another.

Phil preached a challenging sermon on offence a few weeks ago; combine that with John Bevere’s book and boom!

Isn’t it so easy to be offended? From a crime against us to ‘she ignored me in the church foyer.’

I am challenged to acknowledge how offence can affect EVERYTHING.

Offence is the thief of abounding love, of freedom, of joy.

Offence takes a hold of me and drains life from me.

Offence makes me self-centered.

It becomes my filter with which I view the world.

And soon enough – offence goes deep and takes root, and the root has a name.


That toxic root becomes an acidic tree.

Oh and bitterness, not only affects me, but those around me.

If we let that bitter tree grow. We live life with a critical heart. We’re moody. Hypersensitive…

Fixating – because bitterness flourishes in the soil of justification. And as we replay the movie of scripted speeches and justified revenge – it becomes a blockbuster of bitterness.

And while we love to blame the one who has offended us – the only one who can take the purposes of God’s plan from me is ME, the only one who can take the purposes of God’s plan from you is YOU.

Bitterness travels in a pack, so not only our emotions – but also health can be affected too. Scientists have even concluded that bitterness, if left unchecked affects our hormones and immunity.

Offence and bitterness suffocate the life out of us – swallowing up the spacious places God has promised.

UNTIL we hear the Holy Spirit – the Counselor whisper – hand it over, hand them over.


Forgiveness is the answer – it sets US free. We have been forgiven much.

Hand it over, Hand them over… To Him and see the promised LIFE released in you.

I wonder if you recognize some of those roots and fruits – I know I do.

Lord, give me courage to be honest. I give you permission to shine a light on who I am offended with, reveal unforgiveness or bitterness. Show me where roots of bitterness have taken hold, affecting me and those around me. Bring me into the promised spacious place as I release my offence and those offending me. AMEN.

You are loved,

Michelle xo

“Do not be afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness. The longer you hide it, the stronger it will become and the harder your heart will grow. Stay tenderhearted. How? Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. —EPHESIANS 4:31-32”


Sorry for being your biggest critic




Last week I mentioned ‘wow’ moments I had read or listened to. Here’s another…

 I read this quote by Abi Stumvoll

‘Stop criticizing your God-given temple (your body) repent (say sorry/change your mind) to every body part that you’ve spoken death to. Because when you speak life to yourself, you will bloom into it’

 Abi carries a great message of freedom after a life of self-hatred and insecurity – here’s a short summary for you with a few of my musings thrown in.

Many of us are our war with ourselves. We have an accuser who tells us everything we are not allowing a lie to wrap itself around the core of who we are. A violence against the truth. When we criticize ourselves we are criticize our Creator. The bible tells us when a kingdom is divided against itself it cannot stand. When the war is on against our body it prevents us from living in fullness of our true self. God is calling us to wholeness and reconciliation with ourselves – our mind, body and emotions.

Abi challenges us to say sorry to our bodies for the ridiculously high expectations.

Sorry for expecting perfection

Sorry for being your biggest critic

Crazy? No crazier than saying the constant horrible things about ourselves things day in day out. Isn’t it true that most of what we say and do to ourselves we would never do to another person?

What happens when you love something? You invite love back.

This will take intention and commitment – but let us not starve ourselves of love.

Let us unite with our God created selves and begin the habit of love.

Let us start speaking some love over ourselves, breaking a lifetime of loathing.

Let us agree with truth even if it doesn’t make sense – speaking truth out loud – there is power of life and death in the tongue. You might not ‘feel’ anything but the truth promises to set you free.

My prayer for you today is that you will allow God’s love to reach you as you embrace this truth. That you will go where you think love can’t. That you will hear what He likes about you. That you know what He loves when He sees you.


I choose to love what you love. I give myself permission to shine. To be alive and vibrant with the life of Christ. I will not align with lies and the accuser. I will know the truth and the truth will set me free. Amen.

Bless you!

Love, Michelle xo







Can you hear the Cheers?

IMG_3903 (1)
Enderby Cliffs 


A few years ago I went to a trusted counselor/prayer person with one of ‘those’ secrets. I was expecting quite the dramatic time of tears and vomiting, but no, a lights on and truth telling changed everything.

Here’s what she shared:

As one woven by our Creator, we are designed with roots of character that define us. What often happens is that darkness – choices – life’s events can take this God given root and twist it.

Here are some examples of twisted roots.

  • You protect those around you with your silence over challenging behavior. Could this be your God given root of integrity is gnarled.
  • You are bolshy and arrogant – has your root of boldness been twisted?
  • You fear confrontation and allow compromise. Has your root of being a peacemaker wandered?
  • You have a tendency to bully. But God’s plan for you was inner-strength.
  • God has created you with a sensitive spirit. A characteristic easily distorted as you become bothered about a person’s thoughts and opinions. Often becoming the fear of man.
  • You are created in His image. Circumstances have forced an opposite opinion of your character and your body image.

The God-given roots of your created character need the truth of God’s word and LOVE spoken over them.

Lord, for some of us, this is a lifetime of habits

We choose to partner with truth today,

Give us grace for ourselves and help us to stop being our own accuser.

Show us your truth; show us how to unravel lies.

Untwist warped roots into your created image.

Reveal in us our signature self – the person you dreamed up before the foundation of the world.


Let us tune into the cheers of heaven today.



You are loved,

Michelle xo

But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;

the Eternal will be his confidence.

He is like a tree planted by water,

sending out its roots beside the stream.

It does not fear the heat or even drought.

Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.

Jeremiah 17:8


Joining in today with….

On Finding Gold


At the end of our Oregon road trip we popped across to Bethel Church in Redding – an 8hr drive, we’ve got this road trip thing down. We love Bethel’s worship and teaching and often tune in.

A few friends asked us ‘So… what’s it like at Bethel’

We were so blessed to be in touch with the pastoral team through our friend who arranged for us to receive prayer from the Bethel pastors. Of course they took it to another level and saved us seats, a parking space and blessed us with a gift bag of books and cds – reviews and book clubs to follow 😉


We were prayed for during the course of the day by several of pastors who immediately felt like friends, who loved us, encouraged us and called out dreams that had only been whispered in secret places.

We heard Carol Arnott speak on Sunday morning and Bill Johnson on Sunday evening. During Sunday evening we saw over 60 physical healings – of injuries and sicknesses, many of which had been around for years. We saw freedom from pain… and feathers floating.

All this time the ‘man’ didn’t run around praying for people, nor did people run to the man, no glory was given to anyone except God. It was very low key and almost understated in terms on man’s involvement. The involvement came when Bill encouraged those in the congregation to pray for one another or in his words ‘church family you have a job to do.’

I love all of the above – there was so much we took away from Bethel, mostly the genuine culture of honor, which is fostered among ALL the people. You might know the book ‘Culture of Honor’ written by Danny Silk. He writes that ‘Honor means relating to someone according to his or her God given identity… Honor looks for gold in people’.

Danny Silk writes that honor – accurately acknowledging who people are – will position us to give them what they deserve, and to receive the gift of who they are in return.  Honor relinquishes the desire to control, accepting risk and trusting freedom.  Honor leads with love and creates zones where people feel safe and important.  Through honor, masks come off, walls come down, and hearts come out.  People’s gifts are revealed, affirmed, and released. Life flows through honor.

He also writes: A controlling God, who is usually represented by a controlling church leadership, is just not good news. How can church leadership create freedom and not more rules? How can we bring out the best in human beings and keep it at the surface even as we deal with their problems and shortcomings? Can we empower others and release them to live from their best natures and from the truest reasons they are alive?

Imagine if we all grasped hold of this truth and were able to say:

‘I carry something that no one else carries. I must develop and release my gifts into the Church and the world and do my part in bringing Heaven to earth’

Does it feel like a difficult, risky task to verbally identify someone’s identity through honor? Possibly for some – our own insecurity might prevent it, underlying judgments that the person does not deserve it, maybe? Fear? Don’t know what to say? Start with ‘you are loved…’ and go from there.

That’s what I carry from Bethel to Willow Park. To see the gold in people of our community, our city. ‘In a culture of honor, leaders lead with honor by courageously treating people according to the names God gives them and not according to the aliases they receive from people’

YOU are loved!

Michelle x

Marnie’s Story.

Day 8.

My friend Marnie recently spoke at our women’s group, this is her story as I heard it. I’m glad she agreed to let me share it – her story needs a voice.Image


‘…I had always felt the different one in my loving home – the loud, crazy, weird one. I was proud of my outspokenness and I liked to have fun. I was the big one, the insensitive one in social situations. At school I was the ‘not so pretty girl’ and the target for bullies. While I was proud of being different I didn’t realize a seed of rejection had been planted and the rejection I faced at school and church watered this until the roots began to choke out the person I was. They shaped me into a hard, strong, independent woman, who covered sadness with humor, surrounding myself with people and activities to keep my sadness and anxiety at bay. In all the surrounding I was lonely.

My earliest memories are of anxiety and worry. I felt like I had to make sure everyone in my family was safe, if I could control every situation it would be OK.

This behavior continued into my adulthood and just before I got married my body began to break down. The constant stress and anxiety started to take its toll and I developed allergies resulting in torturous itching.

I married my college sweetheart and promptly regretted it. Marriage wasn’t anything that I had thought it would be.  I had married an alien – how was I going to do this for the rest of my life?

My health issues continued, a herniated disc, years of debilitating pain, unable to walk most days and in and out of the hospital. The pain radiated down my leg causing permanent nerve damage. I suffered in silence. I withdrew from life, angry at God, wondering why he was doing this to me. This was not what I had planned. I was going to be a wife and mom who stayed at home and raised my babies. So far I had married an alien, had 2 miscarriages and was unable to carry a baby to term. As my friends around me were having babies I sunk into anger and despair.


I had always felt a calling to adopt and had shared this with Rob before we got married. One day we received a call from the ministry saying that they were looking to place a child into a family. This started us on the fast track through home studies and background checks. The child was placed elsewhere but during the process we met our son. We fell in love with 3 year old Geo, he came to live with us, it was clear he was in mourning for the loss of all that he had known. He had come from a completely dysfunctional situation where there were no boundaries or rules, for a child with FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) this was a really unhealthy combination.

We believed the sooner he had boundaries, rules and structure he would be much better off, we focused more on bad behavior than on forging a strong loving relationship. We didn’t realize the damage that was being done and as we focused on curbing the bad behavior his frustration and anger grew.

When Geo was 11, it all came to a head. We had just had our birth daughter and we had also adopted two more children with FASD. Our house was out of control and I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Geo refused to assimilate with our family and was becoming increasingly more abusive and mean to us all. He began running away and destroying his room. Staying up throughout the night screaming and pounding the walls while kicking the ceiling above his bunk bed. We were all at our wits end and the anger that we felt towards him was toxic to all of us. We began looking for treatment programs for troubled youth but found Canada sadly lacking. My life long friend with 2 teenage boys offered to take Geo for 2 months so that we could regroup. During this time we got a key worker who worked with us to understand FASD and we started to implement strategies that would help us all succeed. I was not emotionally prepared for his return, suffering with PTSD from years of emotional abuse and his rejection of me as his mom. His behaviour continued.


I had completely shut myself off from everyone and had nothing to give. I met an acquaintance one day who invited me to a bible study on love.

I laughed to myself as I thought that once again God was giving me a kick to get up and love this kid. For many years, well meaning people had offered their help and advice. Often pushing me more to bury myself away reminding me again of the root of ‘you are not good enough’. I had nowhere else to run, my humor was gone, I said ‘OK God if this is what I need to do I will do it.’

I went to the bible study on love and I listened quietly until I thought my head would explode, I finally said to the leader ‘how can I love someone who is abusing me’? I closed my eyes and squared my shoulders waiting for the inevitable Christian answer. But it never came, instead the women came around me and prayed for me. They gave me grace. This was my first breakthrough into healing and softening my heart – and I will never forget that feeling of grace. I never realized that what I was craving was grace. The strong independent one who never gave grace to myself or others. Something inside me changed as I experienced grace.  Grace is so important in this busy, harsh and judgmental world that we live in. I began to heal slowly, but not enough, I was still stuck in my pain.


We finally met our counselor who helped us transform our family, by introducing us and teaching us the works of Gordon Neufeld. Through many months of counselling we have learned to stop reacting to Geo’s behaviour and instead address the root. Asking ourselves first why is he so angry and frustrated? How have we contributed to that? How can we respond differently in order to diffuse that anger and frustration? What does he need from us?

We started building a connection that was subtle, persistent, enduring and calm. Geo began to feel like we “got” him, that we really were in charge and that things were going to be OK. With that sense, he could breath a little more deeply and learn to relax and rest, instead of constantly living in the fight or flight mode. We learned to find a softness for him that we had lost along the way.

But, I didn’t think I would ever learn to love this kid again. I was holding onto my anger and sadness with everything in me, I was so defended after years of pain and abuse that had been inflicted by Geo, I did not have any desire to change it. The only reason I agreed to go to counseling was because I had 3 others coming up behind him. If I could stop what had happened with Geo from happening with the other kids, I would go. I had absolutely no hope of repairing our relationship.

The process of trying to fix my son led me to the startling realization that it was me that needed fixing. My counselor kept telling me, “you need to find your sadness, find your tears for this kid. You need to feel your futility”. Human nature is such that when the going gets tough we get tougher. I had lost my ability to feel my sadness because if I did I might shatter into a million pieces. As I started realizing what it meant to find my sadness I began to feel the layers start to unravel, recognizing how they had changed who I was. My past had shaped the person that I was. My parents were amazing, loving and committed, who were frustrated with a daughter that they didn’t understand or know how to help. They, as we were, would have been heart broken to know that they had wounded me with their words. I would not have recognized it had it not been for what we began to understand from Gordon Neufeld about anxiety and defended behavior with respect to feelings of attachment.

Every reaction I had in my life was based on those feelings of the little girl trapped in perceived rejection – toward my friends – being funny, toward my parents – controlling circumstances, towards my husband – never relying on him, towards my kids – not being soft and loving, and towards God by trying to run the show on my own.

I was defended against being vulnerable – to everyone. – how then could I expect my 11 year old to be any less defended against vulnerability?

When I was able to see Geo for the scared, lonely three year old that he had been, I began my journey to find my tears. I shed the tears of my futility and it helped me to cultivate courage.

Authentic self.

I had the courage to face my fears and in doing so, I am now able to live my authentic self, the woman God made me to be, not the woman that others caused me to see myself as, not the woman I had molded myself into, but the woman God saw me as.

I no longer feel different, I feel strong, poised with God’s strength not my own. I no longer feel inadequate to be a mother my 4 beautiful children. I am secure and through his grace laying it down daily – my anxieties, sadness. In doing so I am learning to be a softer, gentler more compassionate me.

I strive to give grace to others and to myself. God has tasked me with 3 special need kids and a toddler who tests me daily.  When the going gets tough they inspire me to be softer not harder. I try to find my heart eyes – to look underneath the surface of the moment to the inner workings of my kids, to try to find a way to really see each of my kids with eyes that know them and their needs and then the answer of what they need in that moment becomes intuitive. This journey has not been easy and I probably would not have chosen it but had I not gone through every single one of the trials I would not have found my way back to God, to my authentic self.

The bible says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’ 2 Corinthians 12:9

When I allowed the feeling of grace to wash over me from others it began to change me, when I allowed God’s grace and God’s strength to flow through me that is when the real change started.

‘God desires to restore us—the real us. As he heals our inner life, he calls us to rise to the occasion of our lives. The most important journey any woman can take is the journey into becoming her true self through the love of God. It’s a beautiful paradox. The more of God’s you become, the more yourself you become—the “self” he had in mind when he thought of you before the creation of the world’. Staci Eldridge ‘Becoming Myself – Embracing God’s Dream of You’

Thanks for taking the time to read this,  I hope it encourages you,

See you tomorrow, Michelle xoxo
NaBloPoMo November 2013

Uproot for fruit.

This time last year I began NaNoWriMo, a month of daily writing towards a novel. I reached 7000 words and gave up. I love starting things…

This year I’m trying something different. NaBloPoMo.

NaBloPoMo November 2013

A blog a day to encourage and develop creativity and writing practice – and no doubt post pictures when my words fail. So, for those of you who have signed up for my blog posts. Thank you. Especially for your grace as my posts sweep daily through your inbox. I do hope you will benefit somewhat from my writing experiment.

Day One.

Last weekend was our Women’s Encounter God retreat. I have written about Encounter God in previous posts, click here for a more in-depth description. We are passionate about Jesus healing and freeing the whole person.

As Phil and I walked on Black Mountain on Monday I saw this.

IMG_3354If the root remains. So do the pains.

Last year I wrote a blog about roots, here’s a snippet:

‘A few years ago I went to a friend for counselling and prayer. A line of thought she shared with me has stayed close. It is this. As one woven by our Creator, we are all designed with specific roots of character which define us. What can happen is that the darkness, choices…. life’s events can take this God given root and twist it.

Here are some examples of twisted roots.

*You protect those around you with your silence over challenging behavior. Could this be your God given root of integrity is gnarled.

*You are bolshy, even arrogant. Has your root of boldness been twisted?

*You fear confrontation, you allow compromise. Has your root of being a peacemaker wandered?

*You are a bully. But God’s plan for you was inner strength.

These God given roots of characteristic need to be straightened, healed and freed.

Back to this week…

Then there are other roots, sin, pain, abuse, un-forgiveness of others and self – these need to be uprooted to bring transformation. If they are not uprooted, unhealthy growth occurs – those same patterns, behaviour and habits.

But how Michelle? How do I uproot? My own experience has been to revisit the pain. In going back to that place where the pain was formed. The 10 year old girl whose trust was betrayed. Revisiting that wound allowed me to fully forgive. I found that when the pain was revisited, I was able to not only forgive but also picture Jesus standing besides me while the wrong was taking place, and more importantly think about how He felt about what happened. That is when the healing came. This isn’t to revisit the same physical place but rather the memories a place in my mind where the pain took place.

And then following the uprooting, that wide, raw, gaping place. Jesus pours in His love…and we begin to change, forming new behaviour and habits.

‘Should we not see that our root is right, before expecting flowers and fruit?’ Scraps, Amy Carmichael

Uprooting, though painful, brings transformation.

Encounter God is not a ‘one weekend fixes all’ event, how could it?

Encounter God gives us the tools to live in a daily place of confession, repentance and deliverance. With one another – in community.

If we confess our sins to God, we are forgiven but James 5:16 says ‘confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.’

As ever, the stories that came from this retreat were beautiful, many healings – especially when people forgave themselves.

IMG_3346A Golden Fleece in Black Mountain.

 Verses to encourage you:

 ‘You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world’ Matthew 5:8

‘But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, 
the woman who sticks with God. They’re like trees replanted in Eden,
 putting down roots near the rivers. Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
 never dropping a leaf,
 serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.’ Jeremiah 17:8

My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving. Colossians 2:7 

And a final challenge…

‘If we are to be anything, we must bury ourselves deeply, and let Jesus take complete control.’ Andy Donaldson, Church Planter, Theologian.

See you tomorrow!

Michelle xoxo



I’m 5 months old lying on the sculpted carpet tiles of the living room floor. All smiley and bald. Mom is in the kitchen. Dad has slipped out the room for a minute. I shimmy along, yes, this non crawling bundle of fun was an expert at shimmying. I move backwards towards the electric fire.

I’m certain the next minutes were screams – intense – loud.

Emotions pointing – blaming – hating, as my little trapped leg was released from the fire.

Three months of daily visits to the hospital. Of scraping baby skin and redressing the wound.

Healing takes time.

The scars on my leg have always been a part of me. That’s what happens with scars isn’t it, they become part of us, our story.

Reminding us of terror, illness, accident, self harm, abuse…

We often overlook the scars, they are so a part of who we are. Then occasionally, we see them anew or someone asks and we recall, or recoil.

I’m reminded this week of my scar, as the mole on my scar has decided to change its appearance. Tomorrow I have it removed, a chunk taken away from my scarred skin.

A scar indicates the healing of a wound. That the tissue of the scar is stronger than the tissue around it. Scars are a sign that we can heal. Our scars are a witness.

But Michelle. I’m not even scarred. I’m still wounded.

Life wounds.

Anne Voskamp wrote a great blog on Christians and depression today. ‘Don’t only turn up the praise songs but turn to Lamentations and Job and be a place of lament and tenderly unveil the God who does just that — who wears the scars of the singe. A God who bares His scars and reaches through the fire to grab us, “Come — Escape into Me.”

I attended an Encounter God retreat a few weeks ago, read about it here. This past weekend we held our first Willow Park ‘Encounter God’ weekend. 60 people came along to the woods and slept in cabins and ate great food.

And ‘God did what He does best.’


Lives were restored, healed, marriages made new, as those attending allowed themselves into the healing process.

For many, it was not without a fight, attending the next session was a battle.

Here are a few lines of stories and testimonies from the weekend:

‘When I knelt at the cross, Jesus showed me how to be compassionate’

‘I have been hurt by church people, this weekend has shown me I can trust again’

‘I knew I was forgiven but I still needed to give God the shame’

‘I couldn’t forgive my abuser but through an act of obedience I did. I know that He died for him as much as for me’

‘Bitterness has devoured me – I’m going to stop fearing and start trusting’

‘I’m dealing with this stuff, trusting that my kids don’t have to’

‘I saw where I was robbed of my voice’

And from my purple haired sister.

You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!

This is about an Encounter with our living Lord, who said to Thomas. ‘Look at my hands’.

He remains human. He remains Divine.

 ‘I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.’ Isaiah 49:16

This refers to a custom among the Jews who actually tattooed their hands or arms with paintings of Jerusalem or the Temple, thus they would always have a remembrance ever before them. This view is accepted by most scholars and these palm painting representations were called “ensigns of Jerusalem” and were performed in this sort of manner


Some left the retreat with scars, wounds healed.

Others scraped a wound that had festered for years.

Some released words to suffocating secrets.

Many invited Jesus right into that wounding situation, hearing ‘I was there, allow me to redeem it for you.’

For some it was just the beginning.

He’s a gentle God. Trust.

So back to my leg. I just found out that my Dad wasn’t the superhero he had told me he was in this story. Guilt has a way of misplacing emotions doesn’t it?

The hero in my story is the One with the scarred hands who has loved, embraced, healed and protected me over the years.

And you?

You know me by now. I’m not talking about a quick fix fantasy or a wishing and waving of wands.

But healing threads weaving through layers of our wounds. The words of Christ mending and binding.

I pray for you today, that you can see Jesus in your tough skin scars, and invite him into your tormented wounds.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

With love,

Michelle xoxo


Do it Again!

Our church was buzzing this weekend with a powerful service of healing testimonies, I’ll share them in a minute… first a little vacay update.

The Collins Clan enjoyed a ten day break in San Diego. Reconnecting with some lovely friends from years gone by, reminiscing and enjoying the limitless wisdom our friends offer. The children enjoyed the parks -San Diego Zoo, Seaworld and Josiah loving his Disneyland dream.

What a gift to sit on a beach for hours on end, breathing in,

children settled,


and dolphins diving (first time of seen this in the wild!)

Photos:Mine – California 2012

Back to the testimonies! Two stories were shared…

The first, Jillian a beautiful 20 year old who has endured Scoliosis for many years.  She has undergone major surgeries to bring correction to her spine – by removing brain mass from outside of her skull cavity and to place two titanium rods in her spine to correct the curve. In addition, a time in traction where weights were attached to bring the 105 degree curve into correction. Times of intense pain and learning to respond physically to accommodate this dictated Jillian’s teenage years until two weeks ago on our youth trip to the LA Dream Center. God met with Jillian during a worship service and spoke to her, to her heart – clear words of healing and wholeness to come. Jillian has experienced massive healing already and can move with freedom like she hasn’t in a long time. Thank you Jesus.

Curtis, our great worship leader, spoke of a different healing he had recently experienced, after attending an Encounter God retreat with pastors, designed to heal hearts and emotions. Curtis was taken back to a place of his childhood where he experienced much emotional pain – he realized this had a hold over his life, that chains held him bound and he needed to experience the freedom he is promised in Christ – Curtis decided to release these areas and felt a new freedom he has never known before. How Great is our God!

As they spoke, the testimonies drew in the tangible presence of God and changed the atmosphere to expectation and faith – a clear invitation for miracles.

Already we have heard of other healings that took place as these testimonies were spoken.

The word testimony comes from someone giving evidence, with primitive root in Hebrew ‘Do it again’. Hearing testimonies changes the way we hear.  How we walk out our faith.

Are you believing as you hear this… ‘Do it again’?

I am challenged yet again to share my healing.

Healing…. I believe in it. I read about it. I pray for it. I haven’t seen anywhere near the healings I should.

I realized today that I have been reluctant to share my healing as much as I should, maybe because I have not seen healings around the people I love, almost feeling guilty for my own healing. In doing so I have not given God the glory He deserves for healing me. I realize I can’t be responsible for another’s healing – but I can be responsible for praying for them. God does the rest (thankfully)

So, my story…

I was seven years old and so sick. A frail, ashen girl attending endless Dr’s appointments and experiencing various tests until conclusive results found that I had Cystic Fibrosis – a life threatening disorder affecting the lungs and digestive system.  Years of medication and physiotherapy followed with many weeks of hospital stays and intermittent school attendance. Carrying the weight of the diagnosis, physically and mentally was tough.

My family felt it.

At school lunchtimes, I would wait at the office with my friend Ian Bills to pick up our meds, he also had CF. Billsy was great fun with a cheeky sense of humor always wheezing and laughing so hard sometimes he could hardly breathe. I would always whack his back in the name of physio.

I miss my friend Billsy, he laughs easily now.

At 13 my Doctor sent me into hospital again for intensive tests. This time a different result. The consultant called my family together to inform us that there was no trace of the Cystic Fibrosis in my body. The news attracted media coverage nationally and local TV news.

At this point in my life, faith was not resident – God, Jesus, Christianity were not part of my life, or the life of my family – in fact – we all lived a lifestyle far from faith.

My Mom met a friend who went to a local church in Lye. Barbara cried with thanks when Mom told her I was clear – the church had been praying for my healing for years.

They had believed and persisted in prayer. Be encouraged. Don’t give up.

God invaded our lives with what He does best from thereon in. Salvation. Love. Healing. Grace. Freedom.

I’ll save those stories for another time…

As for today I want to make some room for miracles.

For us to shout out. ‘Do it again

Could it be as we begin to testify of our stories that we will see healing from pain – physical and emotional? That our language of faith will change.

Our ears will hear again. Our eyes will see miracles.

As you go about your week, be intentional about telling some God stories. His goodness over your life, His faithfulness, His love and grace surrounding you.

Take time to share and see how the atmosphere changes.

Let me know how it goes…

Isaiah 61. For you.

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

Because the LORD has anointed me

To proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.