Be Kind to Yourself today!

Friends,

A quick summer Collins catch up…

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Summer is in full flow here in Kelowna, Mom and D have enjoyed their annual visit, Phil and I took advantage of Josiah at the Ark camp and stayed at Spirit Ridge Resort, Osoyoos last week. Highly recommended! Em and Bella had a great time at Watson Lake in the Yukon, Em with the youth team and Bella with the children’s. You can read about the camp in this local newspaper report here.  Phil visited both of the teams and camps for a few days and was so blessed by their energy, commitment and the way God is using the church and camps we are involved with, and of course, he enjoyed the many bears and other wildlife (lynx!) along the Alaska highway.

 

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Emily and Jessica are heading to the UK for a visit in a few weeks to visit Family and friends before they head back to College in September.

Me – well I think about my France trip and all that I saw and how God is using our friends in Caen. If you didn’t catch my thoughts on the trip, you can read about it here and here. I’ve also just signed up for my final writing degree module and looking ahead to September and our new intake of Pursuit School students. If you know someone who would like to join us from September 2018 to June 2019 (a 6-month program is also available) point them to our website here!

There are many musings whirring through my head this week – of answered prayers and gratitude and observing first hand the promise of God over my family. But that’s for another time. But…for now, be encouraged that God hears every prayer you pray for your babes – every prayer. He answers and is always faithful.

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While Emily was at work last week a little girl couldn’t find her Aunt, Em asked, ‘what does she look like.’

The girl thought a while, smiled and replied ‘she’s very kind.’

I love this!

How is kindness looking on you today?

Some of my favourite verses are from Colossians, ‘So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14

Can you imagine if we lived like this?

One of the areas highlighted in my life recently has been kindness.

In a world of cruelty and opinion and frustration, the universal and divine language of kindness helps to drown harsh updates, hungry humans, and wandering souls.

But it doesn’t just happen – in the garden of our hearts, we need to prune, tend, cultivate and give away the fruit.

There are whole lists of kindness we can follow, but we all know those don’t we?

I believe it starts with this act of kindness, which, when applied, inevitably affects those around me – the act of being kind to myself.

It’s time to be vigilant on behalf of your own best self which includes treating yourself as you treat a dear friend.

Kindness allows silence and hears a whisper of worth over your soul.

Kindness allows questions, doubt, and grief.

Kindness rushes in like a parent over their hurting child.

Kindness takes the opportunity to free your baggage.

Kindness affects your whole being with both nurture (caring) and action (motivating).

Kindness recognises that you are created with qualities that are a blessing to others – what are yours?

You’re created by God, made in His image and loved beyond measure. God is calling you today to be kind to yourself, to acknowledge your beauty and God-given gifts.

Be kind to yourself today; it looks good on you,

Love, Michelle xo

Listening

Reading (more to come on this book…)

 

 

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You are Invited!

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C.S Lewis calls it ‘The Strangest Story of all’

‘The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid. I know you are looking for Jesus Who was nailed to the cross. He is not here! He has risen from the dead as He said He would. Come and see the place where the Lord lay. Run fast and tell His followers that He is risen from the dead. He is going before you to the country of Galilee. You will see Him there as I have told you.” They went away from the grave in a hurry. They were afraid and yet had much joy. They ran to tell the news to His followers. As they went to tell the followers, Jesus met them and said hello to them. They came and held His feet and worshiped Him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell My followers to go to Galilee. They will see Me there.” Matthew 28:5

The Strangest Story of all, the Easter Story.

It’s all about stories.

Those ordinary ones who put Him there that day, the same men who went home to their wives making dinner, to their kids. Pilate…Caiaphas…Soldiers…those doing their job.

The nameless carpenter who crafted the cross. Doing his job.

These ordinaries remind me of the destructive darkness that lies deep… that we are all capable of.

I am reminded that the cross dealt with that darkness and if I don’t deal with it then it deals with me.

It’s all about stories.

Your story, His story.

What will you do with your story, do you live it for yourself, or do you occasionally allow God an appearance…or do you take your story and fully immerse into God’s story? 

What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life and have everything to live for, including a future in heaven—and the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us and the future. The Day is coming when you’ll have it all—life healed and whole. 1 Peter 1:3 MSG

Richard Rohr writes ‘Most of human life is Holy Saturday, a few days of life are Good Friday, but there only needs to be one single Easter Sunday for us to know the final and eternal pattern. We now live inside of such cosmic hope. Jesus trusted enough to outstare the darkness, to outstare the void, to hold out for the resurrection of the forever-awaited “third day,” and not to try to manufacture His own. That is how God stretches and expands the soul, and makes it big enough to include God.’

Today you are invited into the story of the resurrected life.

‘But Michelle – it’s okay for you to talk of this resurrected life, but really, is this story the answer to my life that feels so dead and dark? How do I leave my Holy Saturday life, how do I leave a tomb life, a life of darkness that I can’t see my way out of.’

Invite Him in, as I did 28 years ago, I invited Jesus into my tomb – my lost, twisted mess. You can do the same, he will lead you out.

A life of life is yours! He came to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow! (10:10) 

…and as life happens, whether its the betrayal of Maundy Thursday, the darkness of Good Friday, the confusion, questions, and silence of Saturday – we can face them from the place of resurrection.

We can face those days in the power, promise and the presence of Jesus.

Happy Easter!

Love, Michelle xo

 

Promises, Promises

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Happy Mother’s Day UK!

‘But Mom, we live in Canada,’ declare my children.

‘But I’m English,’ I reply.

Then on May 13, Mother’s Day, Canada. 

‘But Mom, you’re English.’

‘And I live in Canada dear children.’

#win

I am reminded of a post I wrote a while back about my Mom, ‘the laughing, tattooed prayer warrior’ and her love for God’s promises.

Mom’s life view is often from the valley, where mountains loom. But from that place, she always finds God’s promise and knows His presence. Whatever she faces, or we face, she is armed with a dog-eared notebook. This little piece of dynamite is overflowing with promises that God has given her. Verse upon verse, one promise after the other. Mom lives the promises of God, she sees many fulfilled, and some not – yet.

I remember as I went through the medieval torture of delivering twins naturally that Mom and Val played outside of my room. Wheeling one another up and down the halls in wheelchairs, laughing, waiting and no doubt being told off. I remember as Mom walked into the room, now quiet, she looked into my eyes – and hurt for the pain I was in. 

As Moms, we never stop laboring. We never stop delivering.

Jesus promises us, ‘My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.’ That verse has carried us through it all. Suffering still stings, promised strength is not pain immunity. It’s not positive thinking either. It’s focusing on the One who knows. Who sees us through those battles, one breath, one prayer at a time.

Thank you for showing me how this promise life works Mom, I’m thankful that my today is partly because of your faithful yesterdays – your faithful prayers of promise. You shine Mom – with life, His presence, and of course, a few added sequins,

I encourage you all today, find your promises, read them, memorize them, shout them, whisper them, sing them and cry them.

Let’s not work our problems out but allow His promises in.

Blessings and love, 

Michelle xo

What promise are you standing with today? Need encouragement? Here are a few promises for you…

All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.

Isaiah 54:13.

‘You can’t force these things. They only come about through my Spirit’

Zechariah 4:6

‘Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.’

Matthew 11:28-30

‘No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.

1 Corinthians 10: 13

 

Get On With It…

Hey friends!

It’s been a while.

I blame the dreaded flu, an unresponsive Macbook and that January meh.

Anyway! Here I am with a February encouragement for you…

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As you know, Phil and I love to teach, disciple all and invest in the next generation. So it was no surprise when five years ago at a conference in Kelowna, we were given a word about a ‘school’ where people would learn to minister, to preach, to live in God’s presence, to pray – to do. It was a far-reaching Canada wide word.

Then three years ago at Bethel, we were prayed for by several Pastors and were given the same encouragement from the Lord.

We wrote it down, for the appointed time

Last year, Phil was asked the question, ‘who is training the ministers, the evangelists?’ With a divine ‘Kapow’ that appointed time was speaking a clear,

‘Get on with it!’

We wrote a vision document and presented it our denominational leaders and with a resounding YES we gathered a group of people, young and not so, in our living room and presented a vision for a class/placement school in Kelowna, based out of Willow Park.

We dreamed and prayed and pursued.

We worked hard – writing, connecting, decorating, learning, collaborating, wondering…

Last September Pursuit School began with twelve full-time students, starting with a ‘boot camp’ where we took students through our Set Free retreat, Hearing God and understanding the importance of mentoring. The curriculum is packed with subjects, such as how to prep and preach, effective storytelling and understanding culture. Students have shared in church, rang bells with the salvation army, planned projects and taken part in our 21 days of prayer! Pursuit Night School also began with many attending weekly to hear the ‘condensed version.’  

I love the challenge of Bob Goff, ‘quit aiming for what you’re able to do; pick a couple things only God could do.’

I want to encourage you today, dig out your journal of dreams and divine promises.

Allow the breath of God to blow the dust off those prophecies and hear the whisper,

‘Get on with it.’

There’s something for us all in these poetic words of writer and blogger, Sarah Bessey.

My philosophy of ministry right now could best be described as “Get on with it.”

~There will be those who misunderstand: get on with it.

There will be those who judge and find your efforts wanting: get on with it.

There will be those who think you are doing it wrong: get on with it.

There will be those who hold you up as a warning: get on with it.

There will be those who say you have no business doing it: get on with it.

There will be those who believe you’re outside the boundaries: get on with it.

There will be those who are certain you are too much: get on with it.

There will be those who question your faith, your credentials, your right, your voice, your methods, your manners, your tone, your size, your doctrine of atonement, your style, your medium, your translation of the Bible: get on with it.

Get on with the work of the Gospel.

Get on with rising, on with love.

Get on with speaking up and speaking out.

Get on with setting more places at the tables in the wilderness, with opening the doors a bit wider, with blowing the roof off with praise.

Get on with late night walks under the stars and kisses behind the minivan.

Get on with praying for miracles and working for them, too.

Get on with reading widely and listening deeply and being disrupted.

Get on with new paths in unexpected wilderness.

Get on with the people who laugh and cry easily.

Get on with proclaiming freedom and welcome.

Get on with making a home where the dispossessed feel at rest.

Get on with giving away your money and making plans for goodness.

Get on with feeding the hungry and offering water to the parched.

Get on with paying attention.

Get on with staying awake and watchful.

Get on with making a nuisance of yourself to the powerful.

Get on with organizing and protesting and making speeches on Facebook.

Get on with declaring this is the year of the Lord and you’re not going to stop until there is beauty for ashes and joy for mourning.

Get on with making friends and being kind in ordinary ways.

Get on with your own healing and wholeness so that you can offer a healed and whole glimpse of the abundance of God.

Get on with renewal and redemption and resurrection~

We are now accepting applications for Pursuit School starting this September. If you are interested or know someone who might be, get in touch via our website pursuitschool.com

Blessings on you and yours,

Love, Michelle xo

 

It’s a YES from me!

Hi friends, 

I read this quote recently, ‘put your YES on the table and let God put it on the map.’

I immediately thought of two significant YES moments.

The obvious being YES to Canada seven and a half years ago;  then there was this moment.

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I’m 22 years old, sitting under the African sun, the air is smoky as fires crackle outside homes along the roadside. I’m writing, not only saying yes to God, but to a place. To a mission and a lifelong love of a ministry. I remember wanting to go Africa the day I said yes to Jesus, anywhere in Africa! I’d tried to get there through various charities but it didn’t happen immediately. A ‘yes’ doesn’t mean we click our fingers and it happens. A few years later I went with a good friend to Living Waters to Mwanza, Tanzania. I remember more than one person saying to me ‘how do you think those poor Africans feel, you white people coming and going.’

Fair question?

Back to my journalling. I’m 22. I’m saying yes and ‘Lord, can my yes stay here, not necessarily live here, but commit to this group of people?’

And now 23 journals later, I am still staying yes, to the same place and people. My yes joined the unwavering yes of the ‘good friend’ I traveled with – oh and we’ve been married 19 years, he’s a veryyyyy good friend.

When my 14 year old Bella sent me a photo of her first African sunset over Lake Victoria a few weeks ago…

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…my heart beat faster, as it does when Emily’s eyes light up when she talks about Mwanza. Then came more pictures, and videos of laughter,  of movie nights and colouring and games with the children (we like to call it family night) and then the pics of helping in school, teaching ABC’s and 123’s.

Phil was able to spend quality time with Living Water’s staff, teachers and friends, looking into familiar faces and smiles, of newly weds or of new parents or into the eyes of those heavy with grief. 

To find a charity, a tribe, a ministry, a community you can invest in outside of your own comfortable world, whether one mile or ten thousand away – this is Jesus living, the way of the kingdom. For us it’s a blessing to board four flights and travel across the world to be with family. We love our Living Waters family – Carolyn, Agricola, Happiness, Lillian, Goodluck, Baby Agnes, Joyce, Doris, Fred and many, many more! 

You might remember a trip I took three years ago – I wrote about it, here and here  (this one was my favourite)  A friend on our team, Cathleen who lives in Kelowna, said YES too – to something she had no experience of, yet felt a call and passion to run with.

The dream to build a secondary school!

Three years later Phil and Bella were able to see Living Waters Secondary school close to completion. An inspiring, innovative project built from shipping containers! WOW! Follow the journey of the school here.

What are you saying YES to today that will live longer than you?

Have a great weekend,

Love, Michelle xo

P.S.  Thank you Carolyn for saying YES in the beginning!

 

He comforts to the point of strength

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I have no words yet I have all the words. Death seems to have a way of breathing new life into our bones and shifting our focus on the eternal. Thank you all for your love, prayers and messages these past few weeks. We have felt it. God has wrapped us up in His love. For those who are new here. Here’s the link to our journey over the past while.

I have been meditating on the valley… because it is a familiar place to us at the moment. It would appear this valley here is no sprint – but what I do know is that ‘even though I walk through the darkest valley.’

THROUGH. Phew

 Rick Warren describes the valley as : Inevitable /\Unpredictable/\Impartial/\Temporary

Valleys happen, they are no respecter of persons and never happen at a good time – read more of his devotional here  – he ends it with this ‘…There is an eternal glory. This is important. Pain can be productive. There will be a benefit for our problems if we respond in the right way. While we have the temporary hassles there is long term, eternal benefit when you go through a valley and respond to it correctly.’

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Our God the comfort, He comforts well – to the point of strength. That’s our promise even when emotions weigh us down and grief gets in the bones. Even in the darkest valley moments. There’s always, ALWAYS light.

Because of promise. Because He is light. And there is no darkness in Him. And at times like these. When we’re fighting for the day. There is a community that rises up. With encouragement and food, and cakes (because sweet things are comforting ;)) meals out and a whole lot of love. Thank you.

….and today I am procrastinating on a uni assignment because I seem to have misplaced creativity. I am supposed to be writing a Fantasy story for 7-9 year olds – so I decided to ‘winterize’ the (neglected) veggie patch instead.

As I begin to turn it over, and weed – I pull up a whole harvest of misshaped carrots – I find monster zucchini hidden under shrivelled leaves – and an abundance of tomatoes desperately crawling on the ground. Yes, there is still fruit – even when it appears we’re not on top of things. There is harvest in this mess.

And a surprise selection of sunflowers grow tall. Facing light.

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After my gardening today I came in for tea and (more) cake and read an article by Danny Silk.  ‘Your life is a gift from God to you. It has infinite value to him, which he communicates to you in all the many ways He loves you…healthy relationships grow between people who have embraced their individual responsibility to tend to their own gardens. …You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. If you have ever been on a plane, you have been subjected to the flight attendants’ spiel about what to do if the cabin loses pressure. They explain that oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling and show you how to put them on. Every time, they remind you that if you are traveling with a child or someone else in need of assistance, you must be sure to put your mask on before you try to help anyone else. The implication is clear. If you don’t take care of yourself, then you won’t be able to care for anyone else. (Thanks Danny!)

So as we walk through the valley we care for ourselves, we hide in the rock, and hear Jesus whisper ‘get up’…. and we take a few more steps.

And even in these past few weeks loved ones near and far have faced their own valley –unexpected news, accident, illness and loss.

Friends: God is near to you – He is near to the broken hearted He rescues those who are crushed in spirit – He prays for us. What a perfect opportunity for the Holy Spirit to meet us in our weakness and pray on our behalf. He knows us.

That’s all for now!

Love, Michelle xo

 

A few days before we returned UK Phil preached on the book of Job – little did we know we’d practicing what he preached… you can listen to it here.

 

She ignored me in the church foyer…

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Hi friends!

How’s your summer?

We’ve enjoyed summer weeks of lovely family and friends staying with us from far-flung places such as UK, Cyprus, Seattle and Vancouver…the pic above was taken during a short break we enjoyed at Harrison Hot Springs.

I promised a few ‘wow’ thoughts – here’s another.

Phil preached a challenging sermon on offence a few weeks ago; combine that with John Bevere’s book and boom!

Isn’t it so easy to be offended? From a crime against us to ‘she ignored me in the church foyer.’

I am challenged to acknowledge how offence can affect EVERYTHING.

Offence is the thief of abounding love, of freedom, of joy.

Offence takes a hold of me and drains life from me.

Offence makes me self-centered.

It becomes my filter with which I view the world.

And soon enough – offence goes deep and takes root, and the root has a name.

Bitterness.

That toxic root becomes an acidic tree.

Oh and bitterness, not only affects me, but those around me.

If we let that bitter tree grow. We live life with a critical heart. We’re moody. Hypersensitive…

Fixating – because bitterness flourishes in the soil of justification. And as we replay the movie of scripted speeches and justified revenge – it becomes a blockbuster of bitterness.

And while we love to blame the one who has offended us – the only one who can take the purposes of God’s plan from me is ME, the only one who can take the purposes of God’s plan from you is YOU.

Bitterness travels in a pack, so not only our emotions – but also health can be affected too. Scientists have even concluded that bitterness, if left unchecked affects our hormones and immunity.

Offence and bitterness suffocate the life out of us – swallowing up the spacious places God has promised.

UNTIL we hear the Holy Spirit – the Counselor whisper – hand it over, hand them over.

But..but…

Forgiveness is the answer – it sets US free. We have been forgiven much.

Hand it over, Hand them over… To Him and see the promised LIFE released in you.

I wonder if you recognize some of those roots and fruits – I know I do.

Lord, give me courage to be honest. I give you permission to shine a light on who I am offended with, reveal unforgiveness or bitterness. Show me where roots of bitterness have taken hold, affecting me and those around me. Bring me into the promised spacious place as I release my offence and those offending me. AMEN.

You are loved,

Michelle xo

“Do not be afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any unforgiveness or bitterness. The longer you hide it, the stronger it will become and the harder your heart will grow. Stay tenderhearted. How? Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. —EPHESIANS 4:31-32”

 

When Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.

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Friends,

Thanks for opening up my musings today.

A happy summer to you – look out for the Collins Clan news later this week.

For my next few posts I will be highlighting some wow truths (to me anyway!) that I have heard/read/experienced these past few months. I hope they will bless you and maybe even create some wow moments for you too.

Phil preached a great sermon on worry and stress from Philippians 4 last week. You can listen to it here!

‘Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.’

I had been meditating on this for several days when in the dark hours worry invaded my thoughts with force – taking me by the neck and rubbing my face in every possible dread filled scenario. Of course we know that the enemy, the accuser speaks one language. LIES. He comes to accuse and tell us everything we are not, and every scenario that will not happen.

In the midst of the onslaught I was reminded of the time I was with a loved one through a dreadful panic attack. During the out of control state I knew I needed to find eye contact so I held my loved ones face in my hands and began to speak life and truth and looked deep into those eyes that began catch the light.

In Philippians 4, the Greek word for worry that Paul refers to is an image of Romans killing – when they would take four ropes and four horses and pull the body in every direction.

Worry does this. It pulls us in every direction.Tearing us apart.

Philippians 4 offers us truths for displacing worry.

Adoration: Worship always beats worry. We are promised that the Lord is near.

Earnest prayer: He loves ours passionate, persistent prayers.

Thanksgiving: How can we not be a thankful people who have found healing and freedom?

So back to my dark hours. Jesus took my face in His hands and loosened the grip around my neck.

‘Look at me’ he He whispered. And as I gazed into the eyes of fire – words of truth and trust began to flow, because that’s what all of this is about TRUST. He reminded me of promises and reassured once more.

And peace descended.

….and I know when that moment comes again, when I’m caught off guard when trust is crowded out and I find myself face down again. I’ll find my face in His hands and hear Him whisper.

‘Look at me beloved’

Have a great week,

You are loved,

Michelle xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you hear the Cheers?

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Enderby Cliffs 

 

A few years ago I went to a trusted counselor/prayer person with one of ‘those’ secrets. I was expecting quite the dramatic time of tears and vomiting, but no, a lights on and truth telling changed everything.

Here’s what she shared:

As one woven by our Creator, we are designed with roots of character that define us. What often happens is that darkness – choices – life’s events can take this God given root and twist it.

Here are some examples of twisted roots.

  • You protect those around you with your silence over challenging behavior. Could this be your God given root of integrity is gnarled.
  • You are bolshy and arrogant – has your root of boldness been twisted?
  • You fear confrontation and allow compromise. Has your root of being a peacemaker wandered?
  • You have a tendency to bully. But God’s plan for you was inner-strength.
  • God has created you with a sensitive spirit. A characteristic easily distorted as you become bothered about a person’s thoughts and opinions. Often becoming the fear of man.
  • You are created in His image. Circumstances have forced an opposite opinion of your character and your body image.

The God-given roots of your created character need the truth of God’s word and LOVE spoken over them.

Lord, for some of us, this is a lifetime of habits

We choose to partner with truth today,

Give us grace for ourselves and help us to stop being our own accuser.

Show us your truth; show us how to unravel lies.

Untwist warped roots into your created image.

Reveal in us our signature self – the person you dreamed up before the foundation of the world.

You promise LIFE ABUNDANTLY

Let us tune into the cheers of heaven today.

Amen.

 

You are loved,

Michelle xo

But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone;

the Eternal will be his confidence.

He is like a tree planted by water,

sending out its roots beside the stream.

It does not fear the heat or even drought.

Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces.

Jeremiah 17:8

 

Joining in today with….

Please don’t hug me (your way)

 

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Dear Church,

I enjoyed your service this week, thank you so much for the welcome.

You need to know it’s a big deal for anyone walking into a church for the first time – some more than others. So, I just wanted to point out a few things that might help you in understanding some of us who walk through your big glass doors.

Firstly, I realize why hugging is really important. You’re excitedly declaring ‘Welcome, come and be part of our church family.’

But you need to know…I can’t hug. Your way.

Touch repulses me, if you try and hug me my skin crawls, I actually want to vomit and my whole state becomes unbalanced. (You might want to Google sensory processing issues to understand more)

So, just for future reference, try not to presume everyone you meet is a hugger. When you get to know me well, I’ll show you my sign for hugging. And we can do that as I walk into the foyer rather than…well…what happened.

I really understand that eye contact is important; you show you are listening – you are giving your attention to me and no one else. The problem is, I can’t give you eye contact because my eyes sting and it feels like tiny hot needles are poking me. But please don’t think I’m being rude. I’m happy that you talking to me, I just don’t like you looking into my eyes. Into me.

Oh and finally, I know I got up and down a lot in the service. It’s not that I don’t like being there or I’m struggling with the message or I’m demonised! Restlessness is a side effect of the medication I’m taking, so, I get up and wander around until I settle. Easy? Sort of, depending the volume of the music is and how bright the lights are. It can be tiring being me sometimes.

Thanks for reading  – I will come back next week. I know it’s about us understanding each other and I know you have a lot of stuff going on that no one knows about. I can see that in you, really see it, it’s just that my stuff is more obvious…

I’ll close with my life verse from Psalm 139 that I love to encourage people with.

I will offer You my grateful heart,

for I am Your unique creation,

filled with wonder and awe.

You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;

Your works are wonderful;

I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

I believe this. Do you?

Regards,

Hannah.

P.S. I also have Aspergers.  I forget mention it sometimes…