Thick skin, Soft heart.


‘You don’t look like a Pastors wife’.

I smile.

I wonder is it because I wear make up, say the wrong thing on occasion, roll my eyes too often, laugh at the wrong time during conferences?

What springs to mind? Here’s the stereotypical criteria I have realized.

As Pastor’s wife one must:

Smile continually and produce lots of perfect children by pain-free supernatural childbirth.

Play piano, sing like an angel, work in the church nursery.

Organize women’s events and carry an endless supply of Kleenex.

Bake on demand.

Produce a real baby Jesus if one isn’t available for the nativity.

There’s more but you get the idea.

I’m currently writing an assignment for my course, a fictional piece called ‘Confessions of a Pastor’s wife’. In researching I have found a number of things – pastor’s wives put themselves under massive amounts of pressure, feel isolated, alone and often resentful. I read that 8/10 PWs’ feel unappreciated or unaccepted by their husbands congregations. According to  survey by the Global Pastors Wives Network 80% responded that they wished their husbands would choose another profession, and 88% struggle with depression. 88%…

I came to realize a long time ago that I’d never meet the criteria and as Pastor’s wife I would be not allowing other people’s expectations to define me.

Because in being me, I am honouring the one who created me.

Unique and precious in His sight.

Don’t get me wrong, I know lots of piano playing, sensitive, singing PWs and that is who they are meant to be. It’s not about rebelling against stereotypes and trying to be cool.

It’s about authentic living.

So, take a good look at your Pastors wife (you do anyway) and…

Lay off on the expectations, throw lots of grace her way and bless who she is.

And I’ll end with this.

If I’m made to live a goldfish bowl. Please throw me some food in occasionally.

Love, Michelle xoxo

I am joining the free writers over here today.

Five Minute Friday

My friend Melissa also wrote a beauty today. Read her blog here…she’s a legen…I mean I really love her.