INFJ thoughts.

Thank you for your responses and sharing of last weeks post ‘Please don’t hug me (not your way) ’ Click here to read if you missed it. It doubled my highest ever hits for one post and was shared over 50 times on Facebook. It is so encouraging to know that understanding is increasing!

On the subject of being unique…understanding ourselves is so important.

I love the Myers Briggs Type Indicator in giving me insight into my personality.  Not to box me in but to help me grow in my God given uniqueness.

What is your MBTI personality? You can take a simple online test here – although not the original and I’m sure MBTI specialists would have something to say 🙂 But it does point us in the right direction…and it’s good fun!


Me: INFJ. Introvert:iNtutative:Feeling:Sensing.

INFJs make up about 1% of the total population, making it the rarest of the personality types.

People with INFJ personalities tend to exhibit the following characteristics:

  • Intuitive. Sometimes they are not even able to pinpoint how they know and read people. They are usually right, and they usually know it. They get feelings about things and uncanny insights into people and situations – the mystic or the prophet. So that explains my camel hair maxi dress.
  • Highly creative, poetic and artistic. Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills.
  • Reserved. Can be hard to get to know, often appearing withdrawn, whilst not necessarily the case. INFJs do care what others think – often too much.
  • Private. Can appear to be closed or walled… even unapproachable.
  • INFJs value close, deep relationships and often keeps sharing of ‘true self’ with a few close friends.
  • Energy is gained from these close friends, meaningful conversation with one or two and also from art and solitude.
  • Personal Growth. Enjoys thinking about the meaning of life, Personal growth drives them and anything short of that pursuit is meaningless to them. Expectation of self is (often too) high, with feelings of discontent and not finding peace in self. Come on! Take time to revel in present accomplishments.
  • Leadership. INFJ’s can be good leaders, even when they don’t take on overt leadership roles, they often act as quiet influencers behind the scenes. Particularly influencing the spouse who happens to be an extrovert leader!
  • Future focused. INFJs will continuously press on to make everyone’s life better. With their tendency to hope for better things, INFJs may be perceived as overly idealistic and stubbornly principled. Although, this can be inspiring in a world with an attitude of ‘things never change’ or ‘it’s hopeless’.
  • They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress. IBS anyone?!
  • People. INFJs are caring, good listeners and kind, they can make people feel safe and valued. In addition, the sensitivity of INFJs allows them to connect to others quite easily. Their easy and pleasant communication can often mislead bystanders, who might think that the INFJ is actually an extrovert.
  • Humor. Yes. INFJs are said to be witty, sarcastic, and a little dry in their humor. I think so don’t you?
  • Appear extrovert. This could be that people often equate good people skills with extraversion. As my family and friends know. I love a party. I love to celebrate…and while the extroverts keep going, you’ll find me retreating to my world to recharge. You’ll find me in the treehouse… or near water…or running…(for exercise, not away – kinda) The key for me is to allow those extroverts around me to bring me out of that retreating world.
  • Family/parenting: …Is another post. Imagine all of the above and parenting teens. Goodness.

I hope this short insight helps fellow INFJ’s and also to help those in our church understand this pastor’s wife a little better.

Let me know your personality type in comments.

Have a great week!

Love, Michelle xo

Info drawn from following sites:

Please don’t hug me (your way).



Dear Church,
I enjoyed your church service this week. Thanks for the welcome! It’s a huge deal for anyone walking into church for the first time – some more than others.
I just wanted to point out a couple of things which might help you in understanding those who walk through your big doors.
First, I realize why hugging is really important. You’re excitedly declaring ‘Welcome, come and be part of our church family’.
But you see…I can’t hug. Touch repulses me, mainly because of sensory processing issues. So you see when you try and hug me. My skin crawls and I want to actually vomit.  My whole state becomes unbalanced.
So, just for future reference try not to presume everyone you meet is a hugger.
When you get to know me really well, I’ll show you my sign for hugging. And we can do that as I walk into the foyer rather than..well…what happened.
I really understand too that eye contact is important, you show you are listening to me. You are giving yourself to me and no one else. The problem is, I can’t give you eye contact because my eyes sting and it feels like tiny hot needles are poking me. But please don’t think I’m being rude. I love you talking to me, I just don’t like you looking into my eyes. Into me.

Oh and finally, I know I got up and down a lot in the service. It’s not that I don’t like being there or I’m struggling with the message or I’m demonised! Ha. No, I’m very restless. It’s an effect of the medication I’m taking. So, I get up and wander around and when it settles I come back. Easy. Well sort of. It depends how loud the music is, and how high pitched the preacher is.
So, thanks for listening and I’ll be back next week. Because I know it’s about understanding one and other. And I know you have a lot of stuff going on inside too, that no one  knows about. I can see that, like, really see it. It’s just that mine is more obvious.

I’ll close with this verse that I love to encourage people with.
Psalm 139:14
I will offer You my grateful heart,
for I am Your unique creation,
filled with wonder and awe.
You have approached even the smallest details with excellence;
Your works are wonderful;
I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

I believe this. Do you?

P.S. You may not know but I have Aspergers.  I forget mention that sometimes…