Tag: You are Loved

Kindness looks Good on You

Michelle Collins1 Comment

You’ve nearly completed this course on Anxiety and Worry. You can find the whole course by signing up here on the Fill In. Some of my favourite verses are from the book of Colossians, ‘so, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Colossians 3:12-14

The Greek word for “kindness” is chrēstotēs. It means “benignity, tender concern, uprightness.” It is kindness of heart and kindness of act. 

One of the areas highlighted in my life recently has been kindness. In a world of cruelty and opinion and frustration, the universal and divine language of kindness helps to drown harsh updates, hungry humans, and wandering souls. 

But it doesn’t just happen – in the garden of our hearts, we need to prune, tend, cultivate, and give away the fruit.

I imagine pruning looks something like this description in Ephesians 4:31-32, ‘get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.’

Can you imagine if we lived like this? 

There are whole lists of kindness we can follow, but we all know those don’t we? I believe it starts with this act of kindness, which, when applied, inevitably affects those around me – the act of being kind to myself.

It’s time to be vigilant on behalf of your own best self, which includes treating yourself as you treat a dear friend. You’re created by God, made in His image and loved beyond measure. God is calling you today to be kind to yourself, to acknowledge your beauty and God-given gifts. 

Kindness allows silence and hears a whisper of worth over your soul.

Kindness allows questions, doubt, and grief.

Kindness rushes in like a parent over their hurting child. 

Kindness takes the opportunity to free your baggage. 

Kindness affects your whole being with both nurture (caring) and action (motivating). 

Kindness recognises that you are created with qualities that are a blessing to others – what are yours? 

Be kind to yourself today; it looks good on you, 

Love, Michelle 

Marilyn’s story…  

Ok, so anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety for years.

Everyone is different, and I have had various forms of anxiety throughout my life. One form of anxiety I experience is what I refer to as ‘Night Attacks’ (not a technical term). For those who know me, you may be surprised to even hear that I struggle with anxiety.  I’m told regularly by people that they are in awe of how much responsibility I can handle. But, the truth is, yes, during the day, I rarely experience anxiety. It’s not until everyone in my house is asleep, I’m left with my own thoughts that it begins. I am either trying to fall asleep or have fallen asleep, and my mind begins to replay many different things going on in my life. For example, I may start by thinking about what my teenager is struggling with and then feel like I am helpless and cannot resolve his situation. This then evolves into thoughts about work, how I am behind with different tasks and deadlines that are out of my control. This train of emotions then takes the same twisty negative thought process to my relationship and any insecurities I can cling to.  I second guess all areas of my life, and without even trying my heart begins to race, my body is sweating, my chest and or jaw ache from irregular breathing, it almost feels as if I am having a heart attack. And the scariest part is how everything feels life and death.

My feelings about life at 12am can be the polar opposite at 8am. Waking up after experiencing a night of anxiety at times has made me feel crazy. When I think about the same topics during my morning coffee, I can’t believe how just a few hours before it felt like my whole world was falling apart, and I was indefinitely helpless.

For years I have strategically worked through each episode. Practicing getting out of bed and writing down all my thoughts, or walking to alleviate the shots of adrenaline my body is making. Having a warm bath, sometimes a cold shower depending on the season. Breathing exercises have been super helpful and reduced the length of attacks by half.

Recently, I was given a new, starter tool.

When I feel an attack coming on my first reaction now it to say Hello.

I know it’s cheesy. It sounds a little superficial, but honestly, it works, and I’ll tell you why. I have done a fair amount of research into why I experience these attacks, and one reason is because in the past I have had a lot of challenging, sometimes hostile situations I’ve had to deal with. God created our adrenal glands for such occasions. Adrenaline protects us, gives us the ability to decipher the best case scenario to keep us safe. Flight or fight etc. However, at 12am, my bodies natural reaction to a little stress translates into the mega amount of adrenaline. Basically, my body reacts as if I am entering a boxing ring and elevates my gloves ready to block and hit my opponent. The problem is there isn’t anything life-threatening, and my anxiety clings to all topics swimming around my mind.

Permission.

I have had to give my body and mind permission to have anxiety.

I have learned to be thankful. My adrenaline has helped me through so many difficult situations, and I am very grateful for it. So at 12, 1 or 2am when I am jolted out of a deep sleep or simply feel the first signs of an oncoming attack taking place, I say Hello. Hello, adrenaline. Thank you for coming to protect me, but everything is ok. I acknowledge that this is a chemical reaction, and although I currently do not need the help, I appreciate that my body is designed to keep me safe. As soon as I start thinking these positive, affirming thoughts, it’s as if I walk out of the arena and back into the sweet, safe comforts of my own home. Don’t get me wrong, I can still have the symptoms of anxiety, but with the relief that this is very temporary and definitely not life-threatening.

Permission. For me, giving my body permission for adrenaline has changed my view and reactions. I feel the word anxiety can be communicated as negative, but this simply isn’t the case. And if we focus on only getting rid of it every time we have anxiety, it’s a perpetual cycle of already failing by experiencing it.

Don’t try and push your anxiety away.

Say Hello, say thank-you and give yourself time to be uncertain. God’s perfect design is there to keep us safe, and above all, you ARE safe. He’s got you.

Meditate and Memorise

‘I will praise the LORD who counsels me, even at night my heart instructs me.’ Psalm 16:7

Listen: Heroes by Amanda Cook

What! You too? I thought I was the only One

Michelle Collins5 Comments

Today we look at community, this devotional is linked to Phil’s talks – sign up here

Most people have heard these words of Mother Teresa, ‘the greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There’s a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.’

Loneliness has been defined in different ways. A common definition is, ‘a state of solitude or being alone.’ The other definition is, ‘loneliness is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, it is the perception of being alone and isolated that matters most.’

Our greatest need is food, shelter…and connection. Brene Brown writes a lot on this subject, ‘a deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.’ 

It is so important to allow ourselves to be seen, sharing the truth of where we are at. Our fears, doubts, extreme thoughts. As Brene says, in doing so, ‘we connect with others and in turn give them permission to be themselves. In sharing our fears and insecurities, we find true relationships.’

Community is woven throughout scripture. I love where scripture writes of the importance of us being joined together, that we cannot function well without one another, that we are called to encourage one another, to bear one another’s burdens. We are designed for each other! 

It’s so easy to withdraw isn’t it, I am often overthinking and sensitive – the familiar villain of fear can cause me to withdraw into my world where I find encouragement in scripture and in God’s presence,

But, that’s not enough.  

Yes, my life is hidden with Christ in God, and I live/love that, but as you know one of favorite lines is, ‘created for community.’ I think the enemy of our soul wants nothing more than to isolate us in loneliness – hiding away in a world of silence and unreality. 

This needs us to make a change – stepping out, being vulnerable and honest, inviting people into our imperfections. 

I love the idea of a community where are arms are wide open, where judgment is abandoned, and encouragement is the norm. Community allows light into the dark places, 

Jen Hatmaker writes, ‘and as we witness this beautiful community, we aren’t just observing vulnerability but rather chains breaking, darkness receding, victory rising… when enough bright places are created, the dark has nowhere else to hide.

To do this, we have to be seen.

‘Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Kaitlynn 

I thought I could do it alone. I had chosen not to engage fully in fellowship or let family see what gripped me. I thought that I would be judged by my family, my friends, or anyone who heard about what I had been going through. 

Years later, the movie “Frozen” portrayed how this time in my life felt. When I saw this movie the first time, I SOBBED. For those who need a refresher: the part where from childhood to adulthood, Elsa locks herself in her room. Anna, her sister, tries to entice her to come out and play. Elsa always refuses and sometimes wouldn’t answer. Eventually, Anna gives up and leaves her alone. Fast forward to the end, and Elsa realizes what she needed all along was family and a friend. 

It took me a long time before I would let people in to see what I was going through. Anxiety and depression gripped me hard from an early age. Finding people who understood, or even tried to just understand me was a game-changer. I had placed no value in community for a long time. 

I would encourage anyone who feels like “no one will understand”- to reach out to trusted people. One of the tools I firmly believe the enemy uses is isolation: whether by actually isolating us from family and friends – or making us believe we are. We would have no idea how many people really have been dealing with anxiety and depression, until we reach out, or back to those we love. 

Maybe just start with one person. I used to imagine what these conversations would look like – I would get so worked up that I would not even start them. But once I got going, how freeing it was to build community without hiding something real about me. For me – every time I would tell someone my story, it got easier to ask for help or let someone in. 

Scott 

Before I had my anxious breakdown, I had a friend tell me about his experience with anxiety and how he was overcoming it, and so, he was the first person I called on when things started getting bad for me. Having someone like that to talk to was incredibly helpful in learning to understand my anxiety and showed me that I wasn’t alone. I haven’t been shy when it comes to talking about my anxiety, and in doing so, I’ve met so many people who have been through situations similar to mine. Some of them sought help from their community immediately, but others say that they have never spoken about it until now and that they have spent years trying alone to find themselves again, which they did but with great effort and lots of time. I was fortunate to speak with people who had experience with anxiety, but I was also immensely blessed to have my whole bible study group committed to praying for me and checking in on me, most of whom admitted to me that they didn’t personally understand what I was going through. It was enough to know that they still accepted me and were interceding in prayer for me. Now that I am feeling mostly better, I still let those people know when I’m doing well or when I have a bad day or two. Maybe the most important part of having a supportive community was having people there for my wife when I wasn’t in a place to be there for her. My anxiety struck hard right before our second child was born, so having people to support her practically and emotionally was crucial to our healing.

Meditate and Memorise

‘Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.’  Prov 12:25

I also love this verse in the The Passion Translation, ‘anxious fear brings depression, but a life-giving word of encouragement can do wonders to restore joy to the heart.’ 

Listen: You Say, Lauren Daigle. 

Drinking tea in the Presence of God

Michelle CollinsLeave a comment
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This week I sat on my deck, it was 6am, the birds were reminding me of the new day, while my sleeping ones stirred. The sun bounced through the leaves of the lilac tree. I watched the steam swirling from my hot tea and pondered the Holy Place. The place where God dwells and I rejoiced at the knowledge that because of Christ, I can enter into his presence. That no magic tricks are needed, that God has made His home in us. 

And without a doubt, I was there. Loved, heard, reassured. 

No longer are we separated by a veil before the holiest place. No longer is there a barrier to God. When Jesus died, the veil was torn in two. The 60 foot long, 30 feet wide, 4-inch thick veil – a veil that took hundreds of priests to manipulate. 

It was only the one true God who could tear it in two on that day, as He moved from the temple of hands to the temples of heart. 

Naturally, my early morning musings began to swirl into a post to share because I want everyone to know ALL are invited to His presence. I shared my first thoughts on my insta story and, my friend connected with it. Nic, having just returned from Israel, had also had her own moment of pondering access to his presence and she shared her words with me, which meant I didn’t have to write any because she wrote it so well… 

‘We stand behind the wall. 

We’re safe there behind the wall. 

We’ll shuffle up close,

touch it,

lean against it,

hope our prayers will be heard through it. 

But we won’t go past it. 

We’re safe behind the boundary of the wall. 

Fear. 

Fear keeps us, holds us. 

Fear whispers in its lies of deceit that it protects us. 

If we move past the wall, we will tread into the uncomfortable. 

What will be asked of us?

Who might reject us?

What old coat will we be required to shed?

What new clothes will we be asked to wear? 

What if everything we have always known we are asked to leave behind?

What if we enter beyond and into and we die? 

What waits for us behind the wall?

A place where once a curtain hung. 

A curtain that separated heaven and earth, God, and man. 

A curtain that veiled the holy of holies. 

But then in that prophecy fulfilled day, in the heavy blackened darkness, during three holy ordained hours raged the war of all wars battled,

as the King of all kings won the victory of all victories,

that curtain from top to bottom was torn in two. 

Hear the war cry, “It is finished!”

Hear the war cries of, 

Death defeated.

Life redeemed. 

Fear overcome. 

And freedom sings it’s song!

Hear the gentle voice,

“Come, child, fear no more. I destroyed the boundary to the Holy. I flew wide open the gate! 

So why do you stand behind your own made wall? 

Come, my child, walk with me in the garden. I have waited so long. 

Let me take your fear so you can know my love. 

Let me have your faith so I can give you goodness and life. 

Walk with me in the garden, feel the breeze. 

Walk with me in my garden. For no more is there a boundary. 

Look, I stand behind your wall, let me tear down your wall? 

Accept my breath of grace! 

My beloved, come, my darling; 

there are no more walls. 

The winter has passed, and the rains have gone. 

The season of singing has come. 

Arise, come, my beautiful one, come with Me.’ 

by Nicole Richardson, check out more of her words here. 

I pray you to know the freedom of this truth.  

Love, Michelle xo 

*A few people have asked what the Collins Clan are up to nowadays, so look out for the Collins family news this week!